To My Female Warriors

To all my lady friends who are moving through difficult or challenging times please remember this: We are women of strength, substance and adventure. We conquer our destinies while savoring the journey. We do not allow another to dictate our worth. We have learned through the past, ancestors, and our own experiences how to reinvent ourselves; how to find joy through the creative knowings; how to love deeply and move on; how to listen to the whispers of our divine spirit. We have learned the art of forgiveness, release, picking the pieces of what is fragmented and not allowing another to determine how long we must remain in darkness. We have found that light and dark are the balance of our existence. We hold these tributes to every obstacle that has been put in our way. My Goodness…we are fabulous! Look at us. We are the real thing. We may fall, scrape our knees, and get our fragile bodies back in business because we are the collective One. Thank you for being in my tribe. I love you all! Y’all become mirror reflections of what I need, have become and will continue to evolve into. It’s truly an honor to be walking this life alongside you.

Have a blessed day! ~Millie~

The Look of Courage

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I see courage and vulnerability every day. It passes by me in the supermarket aisle wearing a thin smile without a wig while holding a child. It holds a sign at the traffic light asking for money or shelter after serving this great nation. It has sat next to me at a doctor’s office quietly waiting for answers. It is the voice from a loved one saying that her mate passed on after a long battle with cancer. It is the child who has no parents and has been in foster care for years waiting for a family.

I have visited with heroes and the most brave souls from all walks of life whose tears leave scars as they fall down their cheeks. We are all brave and courageous. Each breath in life is a step full of courage. We are here surviving this race of humanity.
Be kinder to one another. Open your heart to all that’s around you. Who cares what your political or religious beliefs are because in the end that matters to no one. The sick need love. The hurt need a shoulder. The test here is true empathy to one another without expectation. And…you need to remember that you are not alone in this fight for life. One day you are on top and another you are holding for dear life. Struggles are all part of our lessons. Whether you are black, white, yellow, gay, straight, Democrat, Republican, Christian, Jewish, or a non-believer you will find yourself battling in this journey. You are not exempt from obstacles or challenges. You are not exempt from surviving or just merely existing. No one leaves here alive!


I am often asked what church I attend. My answer is the church of nature and humanity. I don’t need to enter a temple to hear about God when all I do is see God walking around everywhere in each soul who passes me. We forget to look outside of the walls, the box, and truly notice the world. What good is entering sacredness for an hour one day a week to then turn away from every test the Divine places in my path? Nothing HUGE has to happen to be brave. Nothing extraordinary needs to shift in order to be vulnerable. We tell the world to be brave as if it was a choice. But, bravery is a commitment between your spirit and your humanness. We have little choice in the matter. Just getting up is a battle at times that requires every cell to remind us that we matter. Be brave enough to know that you aren’t alone. I love you. I love you because you and I are in this together no matter what! My arms are open to hold your struggle in thoughts and prayers from any place. Thank you, for holding me in return.

~m.a.p.

 

 

 

No More Betrayal

The heart breaks
through the depth
of a giant quake
as fear hides in tiny creases
and illusion grabs for
dear life.
It is hard to let go
of that which does not
serve the spirit.
Ego fights to survive,
kicking and screaming
for acceptance,
acknowledgement,
and assurance.
But,
what if through the break
you allow divine light
to be the rescuer
of such amazing lessons
and replace the spaces
with grace and peace?
There. In there,
through the tender flesh
expanding to find answers,
breathing to find justice,
you can be free.
Then you will witness
the vastness and greatness
of universal brotherly love.

You are brave

courage

I see courage and vulnerability every day. It passes by me in the supermarket aisle wearing a thin smile without a wig while holding a child. It holds a sign at the traffic light asking for money or shelter after serving this great nation. It has sat next to me at a doctor’s office quietly waiting for answers. It is the voice from a loved one saying that her mate passed on after a long battle with cancer. It is the child who has no parents and has been in foster care for years waiting for a family. I have visited with heroes and bravery from all walks of life whose tears leave scars as they fall down their cheeks. We are all brave and courageous. Each breath in life is a step full of courage. We are here surviving this race of humanity. Be kinder to one another. Open your heart to all that’s around you. Who cares what your political or religious beliefs are because in the end that matters to no one. The sick need love. The hurt need a shoulder. The test here is true empathy to one another without expectation. And…you need to remember that you are not alone in this fight for life. One day you are on top and another you are holding for dear life. Struggles are all part of our lessons. Whether you are black, white,yellow, gay, straight, Democrat, Republican, Christian, Jewish, or a non-believer you will find yourself battling in this journey. You are not exempt from obstacles or challenges. You are not exempt from surviving or just merely existing. No one leaves here alive!

I am often asked what church I attend on Sundays. My answer is the church of nature and humanity. I don’t need to enter a temple to hear about God when all I do is see God walking around everywhere in each soul who passes me. We forget to look outside of the walls, the box, and truly notice the world. What good is entering sacredness for an hour one day a week to then turn away from every test the Divine places in my path? Nothing HUGE has to happen to be brave. Nothing extraordinary needs to shift in order to be vulnerable. Just getting up is a battle at times that requires every cell to remind us that we matter. So as you enter this Sunday morning with your beliefs, religious theologies and prayers please think of all those who have nothing but their own beliefs that they are making. Be brave enough to know that you aren’t alone. I love you. I love you because you and I are in this together no matter what! My arms are open to hold your struggle in thoughts and prayers from any place.

Mind-tripping Panic

Every few months I have a night full of nightmares.  As rational as I am, I wake up several times during the night sweating, in destitution, heart racing and with uncontrollable shakes.  I get lost in past violence where my body is taken from me and discarded as a rag doll.  Once I am awake I can gather my thoughts and try to go back to sleep to then (what seems ridiculously impossible) continue with the same dreams.  Last night was such a night.

My ex of 18 years used to wake up, a few times a year, in a panic thinking he was still in a Cuban prison from when he was in his early twenties.  The dreams would replay as if he was at the present time stuck in Cuba and couldn’t leave.  In complete disorientation he would wake up with severe muffles of terror.  He spent three years in a third-world-country prison for trying to flee the island on a tire tube.  He was found ten miles of shore.  This event would forever change him and detach his personality from truly allowing love, especially to himself.  Each time he had these horrific violent dreams I would try and soothe him.  Unfortunately when it was my turn to have my nightmares he would chuckle them up to, “Ay, mija (Spanish slang for dudette or along those lines) don’t worry!  It was only a dream.  It’s not real.”   I never once shared with him what the dreams were about but he never really asked.  He was too self-absorbed with his own head and his double life.

But, nightmares are not okay.  They aren’t supposed to be casted to the side immediately when we wake to terror.  I don’t mean relive them, but don’t discard them.  They serve their purpose.  Sometimes the subconscious is desperately trying to reach a place of rewiring.  Your spirit is working the kinks out so the fears of waking moments can find a place in peace.  We fear those things that terrorize us with reasons.  They become scars for life.  They permeate into the voice of paralysis in moments of letting go…such as in dreamland.

It takes me some time during the morning to ground myself from such violence and turmoil.  I breathe in.  I say prayers.  I ask God to protect me, and then immediately ask protection for my children.  There are monsters in this world.  There are horrendous events that can either turn us into victims or create us as survivors.  I am a survivor.  I tell myself this when the terror comes to morning light.  I am a better person for having gone through such events.  I am not going to chuckle them to, “It was only a dream.”  I have chosen to better myself because of that past.  We all have choices.  We survive via coping, allowing and faith.

We all carry some form of mind trip piggy-backing from the past.  Those are the events that show you how powerfully strong you are.  Surviving anything that forces you to touch the gateways of death pushes you to embrace life…to never take breathing for granted.   Those nightmares serve as a reminder that you are here.  You weathered the storms.  You overcame the inconceivable monstrous and dreadful events. Your spirit soars higher because of your perseverance.  Here you are!  Bravo to you, my friend, bravo!!!