Time is in Your Favor

holding time

It’s the middle of February. Already! I don’t quite know how things are happening so fast. We are emotionally and spiritually spinning in giant vortexes. Friday night I didn’t sleep. I was in and out of meditation most of the night…swirling up and down and all around the universe. I was feeling the universal forces in motion and it felt like my heart was going to give out. Not a good feeling for an empath.

It feels as if timelines are collapsing. Every day I hear of another suicide close to me, or someone six degrees from me. The bodies and minds can’t take the changes. It’s okay to not have the answers. It is NOT okay to give up without trying to reach out. I work in mental health and I am experiencing a higher degree of de-fragments. I am witnessing emotions dictating actions and creating deadly reactions.
I wish I could say I am sleeping well. I am not. I am moving from one timeline into another. My night activities are as chaotic as the waking day time ones. I’ve concluded that even through meditation I cannot slow down the times. They aren’t suppose to be slowed down because we are shifting and it’s part of mass consciousness upgrades. Discomfort pushes growth.
But what are we being pushed into?
I don’t know but when I go into the space of love and peace…when I enter sacredness I see a different world. I can hear John Lennon’s song, “Imagine” in my heart. And this, darlings, is what I feel is the pushing. Things are changing, especially when you detach from the news and media. You will find just by looking around your tribe and circles that we are returning to authenticity and truth.
I urge you to be gentle with yourself. Old traumas and programming are coming up. We are being asked to clear the things that are toxic in our lives. We are required to cut cords of things that cause us pain. We are being redirected to notice what sets our desires on fire: creativity, travel, gathering with like-minded folks, family, nature, spirituality and so much more. It’s no wonder we are being stripped of hurt, shame and guilt.
Our lives are changing. Technology has clearly forced us to live at a faster pace but it can also be utilized to slow down. You do not have to depend on it for every little thing. If the phone rings, you don’t have to answer. The emails and texts can wait. Social media doesn’t have to be touched all day long. We have become slaved to the things we complain about…too much stimuli.
What’s happening OUT THERE is also being felt immensely in here. Politics, religion, and everything else is keeping you in a prison of mind control. You are being given what to think and digest instead of you searching for what you really want in life.
So, once again…I am retrieving for a bit. I am experiencing a lot of chaos around me. The external noises are as loud as the ones I visit at night in sleep or meditation. Something has to be done to slow it down. I write everyday and I feel I need to return to journaling and the simplicity of pen and paper. I find that in times of real healing and release it is the pen that shows me truth. It never fails since I was a little girl.
Find your center core. Time is in your favor…you get to decide how you move through these challenging times. Bring love and forgiveness to it. Let go of old should’ves and could’ves. You are here for a reason and it isn’t to punish yourself for past experiences. It isn’t to torture your soul for sins that pushed you to grow. Let that go and allow the new you emerge in peace. But, please, if you can’t find someone to talk to I am here. Email me…I will check periodically dharma.1111@hotmail.com.
I love you…
Millie

Hands of Time

 

I need not tell you my story.

I will show you my hands

so you can study the lines

that have intersected,

created,

loved,

and worked

through this journey of life.

Notice the age

of my veins,

the bruises and scars

that have implemented

inside of them.

Touch my swelling knuckles,

that have pounded so many times

helping in their decay,

silently telling of the myth of me

and the things we pretend

no one sees.

These are the maps

of all I’ve ever seen

and all I have been.

Each freckle,

callous, and break

indents the gestures of my existence.

Admire my extremities

and the way they gently touch your skin,

my hand fitting in yours,

and the pulse of life that runs through them.

We are connected this way,

in the way we help each other,

we comfort one another,

and at times push away.

They are the topographical depiction of my timeline.

 

Let’s break it down

time2

Make time to play and find joy in your life. You have 365 days in a year. There are 8,760 hours in that year. You mean to tell me that you cannot take 52 hours (1 hour a week) to do something special for yourself? Let’s say that you sleep 8 hours a night. That’s 2,920 hours you spend in bed. Let’s say you work, or are busy with tremendous responsibilities, for 55 hours a week which would be 2,860 a year. That still leaves you with 2,980 hours left to do things. Keep breaking it down. If you can find the time to surf the web, gossip, complain, and watch television, you surely can find time to chase a sunrise, hike, meditate, or just be in silence. You can surely find time to write, create, and nourish your soul. We give and make time to the things we focus on. You have the ability in one year to transform your life. To say you “have no time” is a neglecting your soul’s yearnings. To give excuses for poor time management is an injustice to your greatness. In essence you are not stealing an hour from any place to pamper yourself. You are recreating and modifying the programming of being too busy. It’s all an illusion. Make time for you. Carve space for your spirit to remember why it’s here on this life. You get to change what you want and who you want to become by changing your attitude. Be inJOY. Be in love. Be who you are meant to be…no more excuses.

The Experiment of Time

 

experiment of time

Some years are pretty uneventful with life changes. You go through the daily routines, family issues, keeping the same jobs, everyone is healthy, same friends, and life is pleasantly stable. But, there are some years that come in like a massive tornado storming through everything and twisting your life around. This year has been such a year. Truth be told, the past two years have changed everything in me…drastically.

In a year’s time I’ve lost loved ones to misunderstandings and family gossip/issues. I’ve cleared up my friends’ list and stuck with deleting those who didn’t really show me the utmost love and respect. I got married, still in the process of finalizing the adoption of my granddaughter, closed down a business that was running for over 5 years, moved to a sweet mountain cottage, returned to work for others after having had my own businesses for over 20 years, began writing professionally as well, and awakened to many different possibilities that continue to appear every day. I have seen dearest of friends endure difficult life transformations; my children make painful choices; dealt with major stresses involving mental illness and destruction in loved ones; and realized how much I have enabled many around me with my mother-hen personality. Things have changed with all the awareness. A year has brought me closer to many whom I wouldn’t have been closed to before. I have met amazing souls.  Most importantly I have made peace with me. I’ve forgiven myself for a lifetime of self-deceit. I have had to really take a look at how I participated in all those experiences. This has been an experiment of time and how reality has been molded by my awareness. I had to be honest with my spirit and sometimes that’s not a pretty sight.

I have had several other things happen this year: personal ones that have deepened my faith, spirituality and belief system. I have entered into the wise years of midlife with some acceptance that I KNOW NOTHING of what I was able to articulate for most of my life. I know zero…zip…nada!  I’m okay with that. It’s actually quite perfect. I am learning to keep my mouth shut to those around me of things I feel, but my ears opened to the things I can share. In essence, I have molded my higher wisdom with my sarcastic soul. I am no longer afraid to reach out to a friend or stranger to give a message from a loved one who has passed on. I don’t shun my gifts like I used to.  But, in spite of all these amazing awareness, my heart has been broken beyond words, betrayed, healed and enlarged because of such acceptance, conviction and awareness. This has been a year of transformations.

I am empowered by a few things: the surrendering of pain, the consenting of change, and the reward of letting go. It isn’t easy! I am still very human and learning is a constant complex forte. I think if anything the lessons have continued to show themselves about letting go, but I am consciously aware of them. I continue to be selfish with my time, even now that it seems to move quicker with a little one in tow, and the solitary moments of having Divinity visit every morning. I require time alone to feel the union of nature, divinity, and my spirit. I am trying to find balance where there seems to be a disproportion. But, it is all a matter of perception. I have always wanted this moment and this life. I feel gratitude embracing me when I step back to realize I have received everything I’ve manifested in my dreams.

A year in a life can make a huge impact. Anniversaries of hurt and betrayal stay for a while. The year is over. The mourning has subsided. I have so much more to enjoy ahead of this journey. All hours work with the days whether we accept them or not. Each day works beautifully within the weeks. Each week flatters the consecutive junction of months. And, each month gathers in triumph as the sum of a year. It is nothing in the scope of reality. Everything is an illusion of how we choose to live our lives. Every lesson this year has been inspired with surrendering, love, compassion and most of all connection of self and spirit. The greatest exercise has been in loving the tenderness of time. Holding my two year old and feeling her joy, sadness, love, and spirit has been the icing on the cake this year. Writing and expressing myself has been the most powerful awakening experience. What better way to begin a new chapter?  May your painful endings connect to wonderful new beginnings…always!

The Things That Make Me

“Sometimes when I talk I don’t say anything and when I listen I only hear sounds. I used to be embarrassed about this but I know now that these are the quirks that make me.  At times I let go of love so it can find its way back and I marble at its return as if the spell of the world is broken and I can reach out while my heart expands wider. There are so many times I smile without a single reason making me look a little strange to those around me. Often times I can smell rain before it arrives and I am stopped with such surprise at how the earth is connected to me. Whenever I laugh, God holds my heart, especially when I am hiking alone and each tree, branch, blade of grass suspends me in mysticism.  Sometimes the best cup of coffee is the one shared with a friend and at other times a glass of wine with a friend solves the world’s problems.  There are many moments that I witness Divinity when looking into a stranger’s eyes and at other times a kind word from a stranger becomes a mood enhancer that leaves imprints of stories untold. I am forever grateful for those moments of sharing with someone who doesn’t know my history or judges me for past mistakes.  Sometimes holding someone’s hand is all that matters, wiping tears is an honor, and just being in silence with them is priceless because being present is an invaluable gift.  Every day my children teach me the art of being human, how to fall and strive for better, and how to love unconditionally regardless of how much I mess up.  Compassion and joy are underrated these days.  I want to always show the lighter side of heaven through my laughter than the darker side of hell through a scorn.  There have been times that lovers have left little parts of themselves in my soul forever and I am grateful for those pieces that mold and hold me as part of the present life.  I love how my mate can touch my hand and nothing else around me matters.  His whisper can trigger a smile or a tear and I am lost in a world of intimacy for a while where nothing or no one can reach me but him.  Sometimes the filtering system in my mouth is malfunctioning and I say things that do not come from me.  It’s not really an excuse.  It’s the way things are when spirit moves through me to leave a message for another.  Sometimes when I stare at the night sky I wish I could fly and then I am reminded that whenever I meditate I can feel God cradling my body in the heavens and when I pray I can feel His touch in my hands.  Many nights when I dream I travel to amazing places from the past and the future.  Sometimes all I need is a pair of warm socks to change a sour mood; the smell of a sweet candle to remind me of another life; and a great book to take me on an incredible journey.  At times my thoughts get lost in translation and I dislike when someone tries to correct them.  There are times I talk to rocks gathering them in my hands and they answer with loving gratitude for being held so close to my heart.  I ask permission to take the ones that look like hearts and place them in jar to always recall that love is solid and strong. I take long rides through new places to see if I get lost so I can find myself somewhere in the middle of what I am searching.  Sometimes I just have to scratch my head and admit I know nothing realizing how difficult we make this living thing called Life.   There are rare times that I cry because I am being touched in spirit and letting go is the only answer.  Sometimes when I meet a special soul I want to dive into their heart forever because it only takes a second to realize how precious life really is, and how we are all connected to one another… always.  And, sometimes, in rare occasions when I close my eyes I can see the world inside of me loving and expanding through the center of the universe in Oneness.  It is then that I know you and I are one…forever.”

Tenderness of Time

tenderness

Some years are pretty uneventful with life changes.  You go through the daily routines, family issues, keeping the same jobs, everyone is healthy, same friends, and life is pleasantly stable.  But, there are some years that come in like a massive tornado storming through everything and twisting your life around.  This week has been the anniversary of such a year.

In a year’s time I’ve lost loved ones to misunderstandings and family gossip/issues.  I’ve cleared up my friends’ list and stuck with deleting those who didn’t really show me the utmost love and respect.  I got engaged, had a granddaughter come live with us, died in the hospital for a snippet of a moment, fell deeper in love with my fiancé, acquired him as a house mate with a bunch of animals, had to sell my car, awakened to many different possibilities, and had my last child graduate from high school.   I have seen my dearest of friends endure difficult life transformations; my children make painful choices; dealt with stressors of mental illness and destruction; and even made friends with a neurotic cat I thought hated me.  A year has brought me closer to many who I wouldn’t have been closed to before.  I have met amazing souls.  Most importantly I have made peace with me.  I’ve forgiven myself for a lifetime of self-deceit.

I have had several other things happen this year: personal ones that have deepened my faith, spirituality and belief system.  I have entered into the wise years of midlife with some acceptance that I know nothing of what I was able to articulate for most of my life.  I know zero…zip…nada.  I’m okay with that.  I am learning to keep my mouth close to those around me of things I feel, but my ears opened to the things I can share.  My heart has been broken, healed and enlarged because of such acceptance, conviction and awareness.

I am empowered by a few things: the surrendering of pain, the consenting of change, and the reward of letting go.  It isn’t easy!  I am still very human and learning is a constant complex forte.  I am selfish with my time, even now that it seems to move quicker with a little one in tow, and the solitary moments of having Divinity visit every morning.  I am trying to find balance where there seems to be a disproportion.  But, it is all a matter of perception.  I have always wanted this moment and this life. I feel gratitude embracing me when I step back to realize I have received everything I’ve manifested in my dreams.

A year in a life can make a huge impact.  Anniversaries of hurt and betrayal stay for a while.  The year is over.  The mourning has subsided.  I have so much more to enjoy ahead of this journey.  All hours work with the days whether we accept them or not.  Each day works beautifully within the weeks.  Each week flatters the consecutive junction of months.  And, each month gathers in triumph as the sum of a year.  It is nothing in the scope of reality.  Everything is an illusion of how we choose to live our lives.  Every lesson this year has been inspired with surrendering, love, compassion and most of all connection of self and spirit.  The greatest exercise has been in loving the tenderness of time.  Holding my granddaughter and feeling her joy, sadness, love, and spirit has been the icing of the cake this year.  What better way to begin a new chapter?  May your painful endings connect to wonderful new beginnings…always!