“The first time

you looked at me

I saw myself

looking through

another time

returning back

to you again.”

I witnessed a man and a woman in a book store looking at one another through bookshelves. She smiled, put her head down pretending to look at the titles, and tucked her hair behind her ear. He browsed through the books still keeping an eye on her and smiling. They did this for a few minutes. And then for one moment they stared into each other. That one moment was infinite. Their stories unfolded right there with a bookshelf holding this timeline apart. They went their ways. I sat there replaying their intimacy.

If we allow others to come into this realm…every one who tries to…what would our world look like? I mean, the loves…the ones that we push away because of timing and responsibility. I encounter many of these stories without a word being exchanged. I tend to them, noting the endless possibilities of their silence. Their connection is beyond this world. And I can see it’s all about timing.

We are all connected. Whenever we choose to engage in this acceptance we may find that magic is truly fate in disguise. ~m.a.p.


I woke at 3 or so this morning. I went outside and sat on my wet deck, as it rained throughout the night. I sat there listening to the silence of morning until a little bird landed near me. I found it odd that a bird was up that early. She had one leg. She hopped closer and stood there. I wasn’t alone in my thoughts. I had a visitor and one with a tremendous handicapped that allowed me to come out of my own funk. She had adapted to waking early in order to eat since she was slower. I moved a bit to get comfortable and it startled her…she flew away. I whispered for her to return. Eventually she did and hopped back towards me. She began to nibble at the blueberries that had fallen on the ground. So…for some sweet while it was me and the bird and the universe waking to another day. It was my heart being flung open with her little visitation. It was my thoughts taking a backseat from doubt, sadness, and the large scope of humanness. It was a lot, and nothingness, in a half hour (or whatever time it was). I wanted to continue sitting in the wetness, in my quiet safety net, in her presence as she hopped from bush to bush and back. I needed to go inside to meditate in comfort. 

I am given beautiful lessons through simple awareness. We all have these small windows of love and spirituality. Most people don’t stop long enough to notice but they are there. We are provided with the loveliest of visitors to show up in our world. Stay open. Continue to invite the extraordinary to gift you with messages. 

As I was getting my little girl in the car, hours later, the bird landed on the bush next to the car. I smiled, thanked her, blew a kiss…and she flew away.  Until next time, birdie…until next time!

Honor Yourself

I disappear.

When I’ve been hurt that’s what I do. I cut all ties, take my losses and move on. I refuse to be where I’m no longer loved. Unfortunately, patterns of dependency need extremes. It doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t make it wrong. People are driven by habits. They don’t let go when they can find their ego being right.

This doesn’t mean I don’t mourn. It doesn’t mean I don’t revisit lovers or friendships or relatives in my thoughts and dreams. It just means that I need to honor my feelings deeply. I need to love from afar. I need to continue loving them from over here instead of over there.

Relationships don’t break without reason. At least not for me. It takes a while. I am non-confrontational. I will avoid arguments. I will avoid judgments. I will avoid negativity. I don’t tolerate name calling or demoralizing behavior. When I finish something it is because I’ve tried other ways to reason and speak calmly. When I have tried for some time and nothing changes I am done. It might be a character default because at times it leaves the other party speechless and deeply hurt. People need closure and I am not kind with that. I feel if they look back they may be able to trace where and how things became disconnected. That would also mean they have to take some accountability for their actions.

This is not for everyone. Most people need the finality with reasoning. I find this alone. There are times in the middle of the night that I wake yearning for those folks. I go into meditation. I forgive them and myself. I visit them in the best of light…when things were yummy and wonderful. I don’t focus on the crap. The hurt disappears. We are human. I hurt them. They hurt me. We move on. To hold on to the past is a waste of precious time now. The presence of sacredness is vital for me to live in harmony.

Who do you need to forgive? Is it yourself? Whomever it is please do it. Write them a letter and burn it. Write it for you. Make your peace and stop carrying old wounds of yesterday. Anger, hurt, jealousy, hate…they are destructive aspects that are birthed from a lower frequency. Your mind controls them not the other way around.

Every person in your life has been a teacher. You’ve learned so much from the good and the bad. Accept this life as one giant classroom of spiritual growth. Keep graduating. Keep growing and expanding your consciousness.

Sending love to all. Let go. Keep letting go and return to a harmonious state of being by accepting and living in your authentic truth. Honor that!!!

Recognize Your Love

Do you want to have more love in your life? Really? If you think the love is OUT THERE you are not living with love. Look in the mirror…that’s the purest form of love in your life. Love is staring back. DO NOT let another year come and go while waiting for the “great love of your life” to walk into your presence. Embrace the one in you. You are here for a purpose. You are here to create, embrace and give. If you are expecting someone else to do this for you…you are missing out on your life’s number one purpose.

You are exquisite, beautifully designed, gorgeously detailed to the core…God don’t make junk! You create the joy and love in you. Please feel it.

I keep walking around places and I see others declaring their unworthiness, their unlovableness, and all their lack of ness. You are all there is. Your body is an outfit, a costume of sorts, it’s not who you are. You are the BEing who resides in it waiting for the light of self awareness to sparkle and share.

I wish you could see what I see in you. I wish for one second, even the homeless man sitting on the corner of a building wrapped in a broken blanket, would see that his greatness is inside waiting for HIM to call on his own loveness and oneness.

Love is always always always the answer. I don’t care what the question is…the answer will always be LOVE. Have a delightfully beautiful day. I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Overly Woo-Woo Alert

Okay, darlings, are you feeling the expansion? Sweats, heart racing, nasty headaches, nausea and some other body spasms?

The last 30 hours or so have been a programming of ups and downs full of lots of emotions. You aren’t going crazy. It’s not the holidays (although retrograde and this season intensify emotions at times). It’s some yummy intense energy in the esoteric realm pushing awareness and waking the body up.

And how do we grow? Through discomfort most of the time. It’s unfortunate but a true observation.

Allow for these discomforts to show up and move on. Don’t overdo it. Be gentle with your body. Be kind to your thoughts. Stop beating yourself up for what you’ve done or don’t do. It’s truly remarkable to be in your spiritual body and recognize that this is not real. You are a spectator of your movies and drama. Do not second guess yourself.

Please stay in the moment. Be present. Don’t let the energies overwhelm you with anxiety.

If you can’t sleep then read or meditate. Don’t punish yourself visiting the past or future. If you can’t be in your skin then try to take a walk in nature. Don’t avoid the feelings but don’t entertain them into harming you. This is not for you to try and control.

Allow. Detect. Reject. And make peace.

Now go hug your spirit. It’s working really really really hard this week trying to stay in this human chaos. The universe is always rigged in your favor so manifest what you desire.

I love you. Love yourself as well. Feel the blessings!

Our Story


This story,

yours and mine,

touches me in the middle of the night

as I long to reach under the warmth

through the

miles of blankets and pillows

to feel your fingertips rubbing mine.

Between the snores, movements,

and exasperation of the room

I lay still

hearing your heart beat against

the fullness of silence

engulfing me with your past stories,

dancing with your present words,

desiring a moment of exhale

where you can be free from the traumas.

I think I loved you before we ever met.

I think I will love you even after this….

Letting Go

My husband and I were watching the show, This Is Us, last night. For whatever reason, because the show is full of vulnerability, I began to share a memory that I’ve never, ever shared with anyone from when I was pregnant with my second son. I left his father soon after he was born. But, I kept that memory of my 22nd birthday tucked inside until last night. I caught myself saying out loud, “I’ve never shared that memory of that day with anyone.” He asked, “Why now? Why me?” In my silence I knew why. There was no judgment. He was just there, open to receive the message. We continued watching the show. Nothing else was mentioned. This is one of the many reasons why I adore my husband. And also why in the last year we’ve grown closer…because we’ve openly shared the layers of the past.

Memories visit us a lot. They entertain us with laughter and break us up with sorrow. They revisit when they need to be acknowledged and they also leave us when we no longer need the reminders. Whatever triggered that moment of me sitting on a park bench, 5 months pregnant while mourning my marriage, was needed to be released.

Why now? Why do such things come up when they need to? Why do we feel the need to share with someone and not with others? The mind, our conscious choices, and our essence are all tied neatly to this moment. We are brought back to traumas or issues and events because we require healing. We don’t have to entertain every single thought that passes through. We don’t have to block them out either. But, we do ourselves great injustices when we ignore the poignant messages that come through memories. Don’t.

DO NOT wallow in the darkness. Allow the detachment of the past to show you how much you have learned. How much you have evolved. It’s massive. We are moved by growth. I am forever grateful for my ability to forgive and let go.

Allow your heart to heal. Give permission to your higher self to help you. You are precious. And, you deserve to live in the moment without piggy backing any crap from the past. You no longer live there.

The Ness of It All

Tucking my hair behind my ears,

caressing my bangs over my eyes,

you checked in constant assurance

that I always heard and saw you.

Your hands guided my chin upward

so my eyes could share

the unspoken truth…

I was forever present with your one-ness.

Memories immortalize moments,

freezing scenes of tender-ness,

loving-ness and kind-ness

while all else now falls

in helpless-ness  to a backdrop

of what is now real life.

Words echo,

I was everything to you

and I haven’t been ever since

to anyone else…

Oh, yes, there have been lovers

who crafted beautifully the arts

of rapture,




but the nothing-ness,

the ever so encompassing-ness

of allowing me

to love endlessly

without holding back

buried itself with you

long ago.

When I permit myself

the act of giving

I am returned with akward-ness–

a full disclosure

that you are not in them,

and I am not in me as well.

Luckily stories re-enact

in little sleepless nights

through visions

of what may never be again

but always live in fond-ness:

I was truly treasured

in whole-ness by you.

Cosmic Souls


The moon peaked into our room

watching us with envy,

infusing and detailing the scent of musk.

I moved to your hands

feathering my back,

counting every freckle,

tracing every scar,

until you finally took me,

devouring inch by inch

the territory of flesh.

I searched for your eyes,

with that giant light as my witness,

to see them smiling

like no other I’ve ever seen.

You were the one…

the only one who expected nothing,

accepted even less,

while longing my body,

entering my soul.

Our bodies united,

intertwining without beginning or end

as the wind rhythmically guided

our dance.

You had me. You were my essence,

I was yours,

and one day we will meet again

in the cosmic world of

the in-between.

I Melt with You

The sound of your voice

carries magical gifts

that chill my nerve endings,

erecting every particle

and I dissolve within seconds

of each syllable released.


I shiver,

dancing to a mystery

of what will be




as you look deep within me.


I melt with each thought

of you,

diffusing in your hands

as they




the corners of my flesh.


I dance to your eyes,

as they search for my truth,

my releases and secrets,

waiting for permission

to kiss,



love all of me

as you take nectar

from my spirit.


In the end

it is the journey of silence,


and gestures

that bring me back

to being infinite

with you…

intertwine in me.