Trust in the Knowing

Be clear with your intentions. You will manifest everything you desire and the things you don’t. Sometimes it takes a little longer because it might not be what you need to be doing.

Many months ago, almost a year, I wanted a job working as a foster care recruiter. I took a lead-teacher position in the organization just to get my feet in the door. It was an excruciating, exhausting job. I took care of 8 babies daily and my body was screaming with constant pain. I finally left it over a week ago to create space for my spiritual practice and see clients.

Yesterday I was offered THAT position. I stood back after reading the email and just sat with it. I heard Spirit ask, “Well, here you have it. How badly do you still want to play it safely or will you trust yourself, and us, to align with your soul’s purpose? You are meant to touch others in a different manner while still helping children!”

I heard it clearly. I sat in sacred silence. I thanked the whisper. I thanked God. I felt the clarity in answering the email, “Thank you so much for considering me but I will be passing on this at this time….”

I trust the magic of Source. I trust me. It’s daunting to depend on myself after so long instead of a weekly paycheck. But this I know: I am always taken care of. I trust that my business as a love cheerleader, story tender, and writer will grow. I trust that I will help others navigate their journey. We all need a little help. We all need to feel supported.

Trust, darlings. Listen to that little voice that sends you messages. It never does you wrong. Ego will battle with it and if you are open to release and let go…you will float in the arms of trust with faith.


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Message in Meditation

Trust is an emotional mechanism that was placed in our DNA when we began creation. The collective and society, through fear and other low vibrational frequencies, have caused it to downgrade. We question it. We don’t use it as we should. There is a default programming in its place. So we no longer just trust. We struggle with it. We have been shown over and over that it isn’t a means to survive. We don’t trust or allow for intuition to guide us.

When we return to our origins, through love, Trust will be the first input to be upgraded again. It is still in our DNA. It’s been muted. It’s been centuries of misuse and abuse. It is about to return as our guidance. Soon! We are being awakened slowly. It was designed to be right now in this time.

Humanity needed to experience all that it has endured. We are a stubborn race. We have more followers than leaders. And the leaders have guided through manipulation of fear and repression. They know how to play the part. The followers have also played their role. The imbalance is soon to tip the scales.

Trust will return with ascension. It will be intuitively available to guide us again. It is our internal GPS. Those who are ready will begin to feel it in their solar plexus and use it to create a new world. You are experienced the massive amount of energy at this time. Many will not question what the masses are leading. And in this trust we will once again become whole as one. There will be millions not ready to awake. It’s not your job to provide the push for them. Those are their lessons and contracts before coming into this incarnation. Your only job is to love and show love through your own journey. People don’t learn through words. They evolve through experiences. They see and imitate what feels good.

Don’t judge. Don’t manipulate. Don’t enforce your beliefs. Don’t attack. Don’t hate. Don’t do anything to force another to think as you do.

Love…over and over… is the key to open all the unlocked passages in humanity. Forgiveness heals through love. Trust opens because of love. We change and expand because of love. When in doubt just love. Accept it as the answer to all there is and all there ever was.

Waking Up to Truth

Live with full abandonment…

Somehow we get so focused on the end. We forget that every second is a new beginning. We try to control our lives and others fearing the moment we are to die. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of not living fully. I am frightened of not sucking the joy out of this journey because of a bad day or situation. I am terribly mortified by the thought of taking another day for granted because of obstacles. I want to live. I want to live like I haven’t wanted to live before. I want to meet like-minded people with laughter and intelligence. I want to hear their stories. I crave to touch and love and dive into their journey. I want to enjoy this incarnation with truth and purpose.

We connect this way. So…NO…I am not afraid of physical death. I am, however, consciously aware that I forget to live every second to the fullest. I forget to breathe and let go at times. I allow my humanness to take over and I get angry for a moment. This passes. And, when it does I recall the yumminess of breathing and traveling this life while my soul is giving my humanness a giant high five. What a gift! What a magnificent ride!

We entertain anxiety because of fear. We fear because of not being able to control. We control because we have been taught that we have a say. We have a say because we are programmed to believe that the ego can actually fix things. In the end it’s all a lie. We can’t control anything. The illusion of life is based on internal experiences of the outer world. Our perceptions guide us and in moments make us very ill. We have no say or control except on how we choose to live our realities. All we can do is travel with our heads up, love, laugh and truly learn to live. We are not merely existing. We are surviving all that is thrown our way and we should be spiritually evolving because of everything that we experience on the path of life.

Do yourself a favor and stop the insanity of control. Stop putting off living for when you retire, or have money, or whatever. Use the fancy dishes. Wear the clothes you want. Use your smiles and your hands to touch others. Buy memories instead of things…and for heaven’s sake, love fully with complete abandonment Especially for yourself. ~m.a.p.

Trusting the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage. I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve. Trust and let go.

I’ve Spent a Life

I have ran around

the truth

of ever knowing what I knew

while denying my intuition

the right to decide

and adhere to its validity.


I’ve spent years,

time and energy,

avoiding this truth

and here it is

directly in my face  —

I can’t disregard its motion any longer;

I can’t avoid its existence

with its ugliness and rawness…

I can finally let go and fly free.


It’s been years,

but it feels like yesterday,

for the depth,

the ache,

the humiliation

has arrived with

a surprising force

allowing ego to take the driver’s seat.


I will not wallow

in self-pity,

self preservation,

as I know Karma

has no expiration date.


You were always so eager

to point out to the world

my flaws,

my human traits,

in every situation that


that was not in accordance

with your universe.


I have no use to continue

this confirmation

that breezed into my life

with today’s rain,

rattling leaves,

breaking branches,

causing a mild flood

so I can finally terminate

the need to soften our memories

to our children,

our friends,

and specially to myself

while making excuses for

our failures.


I’ve spent a life

running from those thoughts,

the traumas created by dictatorship,

and I finally feel the breath

of divinity guiding me through

any dark moments.


Benefit of doubt

is only good for those

who can truly change.

I forgave you long ago,

even when I didn’t know,

even when you twisted and turned

all truth.

Forgiveness wasn’t for you…

it was for me.


I spent a life

falling in and out of love

with myself

because of you…

but tonight

I finally know the truth:

you never deserved me

and my whole-hearted trust.

Captivating Bodhi

Sun reclaiming sky

I opened my eyes

to the darkness

of solitude.

Compassion walked in,

Truth followed,

and together they laid

warming my chill,

embracing the vastness of silence.

I began whispering to Love,

awakening my spirit

to this bewitching freedom.

They engulfed me with light,

without questions,

welcoming the morning hours

as the sun reclaimed the sky.

Finally, I breathed with ease…

this is the life

I dreamed about a zillion moments


in an older version of myself.

I am home…

I am.



Sometimes we need reminders of what is of importance in our lives. “Sometimes” can turn into every day notices. Every morning when I hear Kali Rose moving in her crib I go into her room, open up the curtains and begin, “Where’s that Kali Bug? I don’t see her.” She hides under all her bedding, pillows, and such. She starts to giggle…moving quickly to hide even deeper.  I continue, “That girl disappears, where is my little bug?” Finally she jumps up and immediately says (elongating every syllable), “Hiiiiii! Maaaa-ma, maaaaa-ma…hiiiiiiii!” I am once again reminded of what is precious and important. I pick her up and we hug tightly as if it was the first time we have seen each other after a forever absence.  I am truly embracing every day of her 18 months.  She is teaching me to be a kinder, softer, younger woman.
We forget throughout moments of struggle or challenges in our days. We forget how simple love is. We forget the core of our existence. We forget to breathe in light and exhale love. We forget to thank our friends, mates, parents, family and children for their moments of reflecting love. We do! But, I am a student of this emotion. I crave to find love under a rock. I instinctively look for it in signs with heart shapes.  I search for it in a homeless person’s facial lines, the touch of a cashier when she gives me change, the tap from my mate as he walks pass me, the text from my children just saying hello, the wind assuring me that a loved one is watching from the other side…a million reasons to find love. And, most importantly I find love smiling widely within me…waiting to be acknowledged by my essence.  I find love illuminating my days through the prayers I send out and are returned with kindness.
It’s not hard to find. It’s always there…look in the mirror. See that soul staring back…that’s love to its fullest divinity. You are created from love, to love, share love, and be love. Have a wonderful Sunday! I love you. I love you. I love you. I don’t say it lightly…I say it fully with the most magical of intentions. May you see the love that you are…share it. You are precious!!!!!