Trust in the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage.

I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I turned my comfortable life upside down and then right side up. My family believed I lost my mind. And guess what? I did. I had to let go of the old me in order to transform into a new one.

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

Something magical happens in this midlife point of a woman’s life. Like you can’t stand the bullsh*t anymore. You won’t tolerate the excess noise of other people’s opinions or judgment. At least this is been true for me. And I guess that’s also part of feeling courageous.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve.

Trust and let go. You are divine wisdom walking around and bumping into love. All day…every single day.

Trust in the Knowing

Be clear with your intentions. You will manifest everything you desire and the things you don’t. Sometimes it takes a little longer because it might not be what you need to be doing.

Many months ago, almost a year, I wanted a job working as a foster care recruiter. I took a lead-teacher position in the organization just to get my feet in the door. It was an excruciating, exhausting job. I took care of 8 babies daily and my body was screaming with constant pain. I finally left it over a week ago to create space for my spiritual practice and see clients.

Yesterday I was offered THAT position. I stood back after reading the email and just sat with it. I heard Spirit ask, “Well, here you have it. How badly do you still want to play it safely or will you trust yourself, and us, to align with your soul’s purpose? You are meant to touch others in a different manner while still helping children!”

I heard it clearly. I sat in sacred silence. I thanked the whisper. I thanked God. I felt the clarity in answering the email, “Thank you so much for considering me but I will be passing on this at this time….”

I trust the magic of Source. I trust me. It’s daunting to depend on myself after so long instead of a weekly paycheck. But this I know: I am always taken care of. I trust that my business as a love cheerleader, story tender, and writer will grow. I trust that I will help others navigate their journey. We all need a little help. We all need to feel supported.

Trust, darlings. Listen to that little voice that sends you messages. It never does you wrong. Ego will battle with it and if you are open to release and let go…you will float in the arms of trust with faith.

 

Please visit my other page at http://www.sacredjourneyinward.com or send me an email to sacredjourneyinward@gmail.com. Love to hear from you!

Message in Meditation

Trust is an emotional mechanism that was placed in our DNA when we began creation. The collective and society, through fear and other low vibrational frequencies, have caused it to downgrade. We question it. We don’t use it as we should. There is a default programming in its place. So we no longer just trust. We struggle with it. We have been shown over and over that it isn’t a means to survive. We don’t trust or allow for intuition to guide us.

When we return to our origins, through love, Trust will be the first input to be upgraded again. It is still in our DNA. It’s been muted. It’s been centuries of misuse and abuse. It is about to return as our guidance. Soon! We are being awakened slowly. It was designed to be right now in this time.

Humanity needed to experience all that it has endured. We are a stubborn race. We have more followers than leaders. And the leaders have guided through manipulation of fear and repression. They know how to play the part. The followers have also played their role. The imbalance is soon to tip the scales.

Trust will return with ascension. It will be intuitively available to guide us again. It is our internal GPS. Those who are ready will begin to feel it in their solar plexus and use it to create a new world. You are experienced the massive amount of energy at this time. Many will not question what the masses are leading. And in this trust we will once again become whole as one. There will be millions not ready to awake. It’s not your job to provide the push for them. Those are their lessons and contracts before coming into this incarnation. Your only job is to love and show love through your own journey. People don’t learn through words. They evolve through experiences. They see and imitate what feels good.

Don’t judge. Don’t manipulate. Don’t enforce your beliefs. Don’t attack. Don’t hate. Don’t do anything to force another to think as you do.

Love…over and over… is the key to open all the unlocked passages in humanity. Forgiveness heals through love. Trust opens because of love. We change and expand because of love. When in doubt just love. Accept it as the answer to all there is and all there ever was.

Waking Up to Truth

Live with full abandonment…

Somehow we get so focused on the end. We forget that every second is a new beginning. We try to control our lives and others fearing the moment we are to die. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of not living fully. I am frightened of not sucking the joy out of this journey because of a bad day or situation. I am terribly mortified by the thought of taking another day for granted because of obstacles. I want to live. I want to live like I haven’t wanted to live before. I want to meet like-minded people with laughter and intelligence. I want to hear their stories. I crave to touch and love and dive into their journey. I want to enjoy this incarnation with truth and purpose.

We connect this way. So…NO…I am not afraid of physical death. I am, however, consciously aware that I forget to live every second to the fullest. I forget to breathe and let go at times. I allow my humanness to take over and I get angry for a moment. This passes. And, when it does I recall the yumminess of breathing and traveling this life while my soul is giving my humanness a giant high five. What a gift! What a magnificent ride!

We entertain anxiety because of fear. We fear because of not being able to control. We control because we have been taught that we have a say. We have a say because we are programmed to believe that the ego can actually fix things. In the end it’s all a lie. We can’t control anything. The illusion of life is based on internal experiences of the outer world. Our perceptions guide us and in moments make us very ill. We have no say or control except on how we choose to live our realities. All we can do is travel with our heads up, love, laugh and truly learn to live. We are not merely existing. We are surviving all that is thrown our way and we should be spiritually evolving because of everything that we experience on the path of life.

Do yourself a favor and stop the insanity of control. Stop putting off living for when you retire, or have money, or whatever. Use the fancy dishes. Wear the clothes you want. Use your smiles and your hands to touch others. Buy memories instead of things…and for heaven’s sake, love fully with complete abandonment Especially for yourself. ~m.a.p.

Trusting the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage. I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve. Trust and let go.

I’ve Spent a Life

I have ran around

the truth

of ever knowing what I knew

while denying my intuition

the right to decide

and adhere to its validity.

 

I’ve spent years,

time and energy,

avoiding this truth

and here it is

directly in my face  —

I can’t disregard its motion any longer;

I can’t avoid its existence

with its ugliness and rawness…

I can finally let go and fly free.

 

It’s been years,

but it feels like yesterday,

for the depth,

the ache,

the humiliation

has arrived with

a surprising force

allowing ego to take the driver’s seat.

 

I will not wallow

in self-pity,

self preservation,

as I know Karma

has no expiration date.

 

You were always so eager

to point out to the world

my flaws,

my human traits,

in every situation that

arrived

that was not in accordance

with your universe.

 

I have no use to continue

this confirmation

that breezed into my life

with today’s rain,

rattling leaves,

breaking branches,

causing a mild flood

so I can finally terminate

the need to soften our memories

to our children,

our friends,

and specially to myself

while making excuses for

our failures.

 

I’ve spent a life

running from those thoughts,

the traumas created by dictatorship,

and I finally feel the breath

of divinity guiding me through

any dark moments.

 

Benefit of doubt

is only good for those

who can truly change.

I forgave you long ago,

even when I didn’t know,

even when you twisted and turned

all truth.

Forgiveness wasn’t for you…

it was for me.

 

I spent a life

falling in and out of love

with myself

because of you…

but tonight

I finally know the truth:

you never deserved me

and my whole-hearted trust.

Captivating Bodhi

Sun reclaiming sky

I opened my eyes

to the darkness

of solitude.

Compassion walked in,

Truth followed,

and together they laid

warming my chill,

embracing the vastness of silence.

I began whispering to Love,

awakening my spirit

to this bewitching freedom.

They engulfed me with light,

without questions,

welcoming the morning hours

as the sun reclaimed the sky.

Finally, I breathed with ease…

this is the life

I dreamed about a zillion moments

ago

in an older version of myself.

I am home…

I am.

Reminders

reminder

Sometimes we need reminders of what is of importance in our lives. “Sometimes” can turn into every day notices. Every morning when I hear Kali Rose moving in her crib I go into her room, open up the curtains and begin, “Where’s that Kali Bug? I don’t see her.” She hides under all her bedding, pillows, and such. She starts to giggle…moving quickly to hide even deeper.  I continue, “That girl disappears, where is my little bug?” Finally she jumps up and immediately says (elongating every syllable), “Hiiiiii! Maaaa-ma, maaaaa-ma…hiiiiiiii!” I am once again reminded of what is precious and important. I pick her up and we hug tightly as if it was the first time we have seen each other after a forever absence.  I am truly embracing every day of her 18 months.  She is teaching me to be a kinder, softer, younger woman.
We forget throughout moments of struggle or challenges in our days. We forget how simple love is. We forget the core of our existence. We forget to breathe in light and exhale love. We forget to thank our friends, mates, parents, family and children for their moments of reflecting love. We do! But, I am a student of this emotion. I crave to find love under a rock. I instinctively look for it in signs with heart shapes.  I search for it in a homeless person’s facial lines, the touch of a cashier when she gives me change, the tap from my mate as he walks pass me, the text from my children just saying hello, the wind assuring me that a loved one is watching from the other side…a million reasons to find love. And, most importantly I find love smiling widely within me…waiting to be acknowledged by my essence.  I find love illuminating my days through the prayers I send out and are returned with kindness.
It’s not hard to find. It’s always there…look in the mirror. See that soul staring back…that’s love to its fullest divinity. You are created from love, to love, share love, and be love. Have a wonderful Sunday! I love you. I love you. I love you. I don’t say it lightly…I say it fully with the most magical of intentions. May you see the love that you are…share it. You are precious!!!!!

Creation

hazy_morning_light_by_mashuto-d7brgj6

I have been awake for the larger part of the morning hours. Now, as light breaks through darkness, I sit on my sofa staring at the mountain in front of the house. I can hear the sound of life returning to consciousness. And, for a moment I realize how I have stopped truly seeing this beauty with the busyness of the season, the desire to move, and the escalated giddiness of change.

There are moments in life when we forget to look at what is right in front of us. We become focus with what is not. We begin to search for things that we think will fulfill us. Boredom and restlessness set in. And when this happens it is indeed time for change. The soul learns everything it needs to learn from the experience and it’s pushing for more to acquire. It’s time! However, what lies behind us is just as important as what lies ahead. The only thing we need is this moment to take it all in. Every second becomes a stepping stone. How will you adorn your path? Can you be grateful for every pebble along the trail?

This morning watching light embrace the trees I am grateful for this little piece of heaven I’ve called home. I have taken it for granted the past year. I have had so many changes that I have chosen to escape to the next step of the journey. As I am coming to close here I can now quietly understand that this is just lovely. What a wonderful way to have lived five years of my life.

Embrace what you have. Feel the gratitude for the lessons, hardships, joy, journey and every experience. You are who you are today because of every event, step and circumstance. Take a deep breath. Voice your love for what is and what is to become. You are marvelous. You create everything you need and want. You are the divine energy that unfolds through consciousness.  Feel the compassion with the openness of all that you are. This has been your creation and your purpose.  Make your life matter to YOU.

Mucho love to you all. Have a blessed weekend.

The Sound of Silence

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Silence is the language God speaks, and everything else is a bad translation.” – Father Thomas Keating

As I write this I sit on my sofa listening to the birds chirping outside. The silence of my house echoes through and through me. The gift of time for myself. Spring and summer are hectic times here. Family and friends gather, and guests are everywhere. I love this time. But, I also love solitude and quietness. Our Great Dane is on his bed near me, every so often picking up his head and letting me know that at some point we must venture outside. His deep sighs remind me to take my own deep breaths. It rained last night and the smell of the earth’s nectar has been intoxicated. There is life pumping outside and inside of me. I can hear the sound of life everywhere.

I spent a large portion of my life being awaken each morning to chaos. If it wasn’t the yelling of fear in my own head then it was the external noises of someone who had no peace and had to wake the house up whenever he was up. It was a time of complete mayhem with kids running around and schedules that needed to be met. Time didn’t seem to be relevant to anyone. I have spent the last few years of my life waking up to peace in these mountains. I open my eyes, say my prayers, light candles and sit in silence for a little bit. I go with the rhythm of the morning. I need this space, solitude, and grounding. I need to hear God in those initial moments of returning to this world from the dream state. Anything else, just like the above quote, is a horrible translation for me. And, I know this is ironic: I am a chatterbox during the day. I will make conversation with anyone or anything. I have been known to talk to the trees, the fish, and the rocks. But, my mornings are sacred. I need to go to the windows and look outside and see how the day will receive me. I need to breathe in the entrance of daylight. I require serenity in those first moments of entering a new day with gratitude for still being able to walk the journey. I need to breathe in deeply and let my spirit know that I am grateful for everything.

As I continue to write this I can hear the rattling of leaves with the wind. The frogs are active around the pond, the fist are circling waiting to be fed, and the sun is ready to burst light in this entire valley.  It is a beautiful mountain morning. I am blessed for so many things, but especially the silence of my spirit as I hear God loud and clear. I can’t understand how so many folks avoid this with music and television and the constant distraction of chit-chat inside of their heads. I cannot comprehend how anyone moves into a new day without listening to the voice of quietude before the rest of the loved ones wake. How can you recharge? How can you allow for the Divine to speak? I can’t imagine day in and day out avoiding this peace for the mind, body and spirit. Once you’ve tasted peace it is very difficult to avoid it.

May you allow inner guidance to bring you to a place of silence each day so you can touch the Divine. May you take notice that you are here on borrowed time and make that time count. Open your heart and let love guide you through this spiritual journey into the unknown. It is there that you will find truth, grace and faith. Make it a practice to allow your soul and physical body some sacred moments of peace. You will marvel at the changes in your life. Have a great one!