The Sage in Elders

On February 15, 2017February 15, 2017 By Moments with MillieIn Essay5 Comments

Last night I dreamed with my maternal grandmother. She was born and immediately became an orphan. Her mother died while giving birth. Her dad left. Her older brother who was about 20 years her senior watched after her until he could send her to boarding school. My grandmother was a quiet woman. She never said much but observed the world around her. She was in her seventies when I came along. I would sit near her taking in her silence, watching her blue-green eyes that were overly magnified by her thick glasses. I would touch her thin-soft porcelain hands and hold them in my little chubby ones.

What I remember from her are snippets of stories that usually brought some sort of lesson. She only shared them with me because I enjoyed listening so attentively to her soft pace and rhythm. She was poise and graceful. There was so much silence in her world because my grandfather was a powerhouse of noise and attitude. Natalia was gentle that way. She seemed to bring his demeanor to a calming state. I never understood their dynamic. I never understood how they slept in two separate twin beds in a large home with so many other rooms to spare. I never understood how they never touched. I never understood how she lived painfully taking things in and keeping them secretive. But, that was the way things were done a hundred years ago.

My grandmother died on her 95 birthday. She left on the same day she came in. I sat by her that morning. She was incoherent. She opened her eyes, I squeezed her gentle hands, and she closed her eyes acknowledging that it was time. Her soul left so quickly that it felt as if someone had undressed her body and opened up space for nothingness. I remember being 21 years old and experiencing that first encounter of seeing life leave in an instance. It was magical. It was as if she finally didn’t need to keep all those secrets bottled up to herself. It was as if she finally had permission to be the angelic presence she had been on earth. She seemed to never fit…until that moment her soul flew to the heavens.

Last night in that dream she didn’t wear her thick glasses. She was younger. She sat next to me on my porch and, like when I was young, spoke softly while utilizing just enough words to get her message across. She had been an English teacher in Puerto Rico. She was raised in a nun’s convent in Ohio. Her stories were always missing something and last night she seemed to arrive with all those missing parts.

That’s the thing about stories, huh? They come at the precise time we need to hear them. Sometimes the same story can be retold or re-read a thousand times but with each word a new awareness arises to some other level. We are shaken to open. Her quietness and presence eventually shook me to awake. In a cold rainy night I could feel her presence, smell her fragrance, and taste her words. Today I am wearing her smile, her gentleness and I recognize it’s important to continue collecting those stories…especially from our elders who become sages of time. It’s imperative to listen. It’s crucial to be present with others who need us. I am grateful and blessed for each one of you who reaches out and asks for love. Love comes from different sources in this universe. Collect those hearts from all the places that are sent to you.

Thank you. Love is returned back with deep blessings! ~ Millie

Level of Awareness

On January 18, 2017 By Moments with MillieIn Essay2 Comments

Don’t get angry or frustrated with someone because they don’t think like you. Everyone is on their own spiritual path even when they aren’t consciously aware of their evolution. They are coming from their own place of beliefs and perception. It’s hard to understand and accept at times but, I promise you, that in each of us there is a reason we think the way we do. It is childhood programming, based on beliefs and traumas, or experiences. We are all on our own unique paths. This is what makes diversity!

Superpowers

On December 31, 2016December 30, 2016 By Moments with MillieIn Essay1 Comment

Pure Wisdom

On November 8, 2016November 7, 2016 By Moments with MillieIn Poetry1 Comment

The Us

On May 13, 2016 By Moments with MillieIn Poetry2 Comments

I lay listening to your breathing,

heavily struggling through muffles

of snore while I put a pillow on my head.

I begin to listen to my own breath,

deepened to the lungs,

rhythmically mimicking heart beats,

each one attached with love for you,

thump after drum whispering your name.

I am forever altered,

modified,

expanded because of you

and the things we avoid at times.

I am growth, lessons, challenges

of things to come

because of your perception

of me and all that isn’t.

I am so much more than I was yesterday.

And, in silence,

we dance energetically,

next to one another,

reading, watching television,

playing on the computer,

but we are there in communion of love.

Whenever I feel the need to pull away,

there’s a tug,

an umbilical cord from your soul

pulling me back,

as if saying, “I’ve got this and you are okay!”

So…I stay

fighting uncertainty

but trusting in you,

in me,

and most importantly…in us.

Ageless Soul

On March 17, 2016March 17, 2016 By Moments with MillieIn Essay8 Comments

I have in my possession a few things older than me: my grandmother’s Italian espresso maker, her wedding dishes from Germany, an original Geisha Japanese doll from a century ago, and photo slides of times before I was even conceived. I am sure there are other items in my care that are older than my human 47 years. But, the oldest thing that I have is my soul. It is ageless. It has arrived here willingly accepting the ignorant, stubborn, difficult, and silliness of my humanness to travel in this incarnation. This soul has decided to witness the manipulations, rejections, and lessons of my personality while sitting back and waiting for me to acknowledge truth. This soul has guided me in moments that I felt were my last, and in other moments that have birthed me with new knowledge and awareness. Because of this I know my soul is ageless, timeless and priceless.

Whenever I look at my hands they feel like the oldest things I own because of the wear and tear they have endured. They have touched, caressed, and loved deeply. But, still they aren’t the oldest things in me. My soul knows secrets that go beyond my age and experiences. When I allow the openness to lead the way, magic is created. That’s intuition! It happens through synchronicity and serendipity…or is it a prearranged destiny that I am finally aligning to it?

We arrive into this world with amnesia. We forget the reason we are here and what needs to be done. We travel unconscious and erratic while waiting for someone to explain the meaning of our lives. When we begin to honor the authenticity of spirit the soul starts to show us truth. We begin to meet the teachers along the way. Events, circumstances and the depth of life proceed to show us the reason for our existence. It doesn’t happen quickly. It arrives through small moments, conversations, listening and tasting the simple things around us. It comes through the whispers of prayer, meditation and creativity.

Whether you believe in past lives, reincarnation, or other metaphysical subjects, there is an understanding that our souls are much older than our bodies. I know things that make no sense to me. I have no clue where the information has arrived into my brain. And, because I sometimes have little filtering the words shoot out before I can analyze and retrieve them. This is when I witness firsthand the vastness of my soul, the ageless miracle of spirit. The unknown makes its presence known and connects to another soul. It is mystical!

Have you thought about the age of your soul: the weight of its knowledge; the size of its information; the connections to those around you; the lessons it wants to teach you? They are beautiful and awed-stricken thoughts. If, and when, we let go of the idea that we have control, the soul flourishes. It blossoms and appreciates the awareness of ego finally letting go. It teaches you faith, belief, hope, and grace. Your soul, my soul, every soul, is here to learn, love, and experience life to the fullest. It comes in with obliviousness and slowly starts to remember its purpose through the whispers of the heart. We begin to remember what we were programmed to forget through society. Surrender to your yearning. Listen closely. Be present. Follow your intuition. It is there that the soul smiles and claims its presence while guiding you to the greatness of your evolution.
“Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” ~ Anne Sexton

Life is a Salad Bar

On July 24, 2014 By Moments with MillieIn Essay10 Comments

Last night my best friend and I watched the endearing movie, “Heaven is for Real.” It’s a story about a little boy who has a near-death experience and goes to heaven. At the age of four he teaches those around him about faith. After the movie Bobbie asked if after all these months I can still feel things that I did when I came back into my body in January. I explained to her that I would never be the same prior to that date. I have no fear of dying. I also have no understanding of what others experience. Anything and everything I knew before January 15, 2014, is null and void. My participation, involvement and personal narrative have nothing to do with anyone else. No two people can experience exactly the same thing. Every action and circumstance is different. Our lives are as unique as fingerprints. My faith has been strengthened. My ability to reason has been rewired. And, my knowing of what I knew to be true has disappeared. I can read things from a year ago and I cannot relate to the b.s. I know nothing. I knew even less then. Every rough edge in my being seems to be smoothing out. I returned with a deep compassionate heart for me. Always having been the worrier of everyone else, I realize now it has nothing to do with me.

I was once standing at a salad bar. My children were all getting the same toppings, yet every salad was different. We all had the same ingredients but no two salads were identical. That’s life! We can all share the same jobs, family, losses, circumstances, course of events, and so on but no two lives are identical. It is foolish and arrogant to say that “I know exactly how you feel” or “I understand completely.” Impossible! We can empathize and sympathize with one another but our emotions, decision making, processing, and a million other factors make it impossible for anyone to know “exactly” how you are feeling. Besides I truly believe we all have the answers we need at all times. All we have to do is get out of the way and let Spirit guide us. If you are fortunate enough to have someone listening to you as you process an issue you will come to the conclusion on your own.

We are here on borrowed time. Even with time being a huge illusion it is still the indicator of our livelihood. Eighty years (if we are lucky to live them) is not that long. In the scope of desires, dreams, and wanting to live fully that seems like a really short lifespan. At the time of death things that mattered in our lives seem insignificant. It’s all about lessons, experiences, and the connections we make while here on this planet. I am often reminded of Tim McGraw’s song “Live Like You Were Dying” and how perception plays a huge role in the way we live. If you knew you had an expiration date what would you do differently? How would you live the rest of your time? Would you consider it a privilege and gift? I bet money wouldn’t be an issue, or the degrees you didn’t get, or even the material life you thought was important. But, you might look back and regret not saying more “I love you’s,” “I am sorry,” “I am proud of you,” and so on.

Heaven is for real. You create it every day. Hell is for real as well. You create it every day. You get to choose which mental location to live on. Do you want joy or do you want hatred? Do you want peace or do you want war? Our internal factors are a switch away. You get to decide how you live your life. And, if you believe for one minute that you cannot change the way you are living, then sweetheart, you are definitely living in hell. Let divine wisdom, God, and your faith dictate the way. What others say or think really does not matter. Be aware of the endless possibilities in your dreams! Awake each day to being present and the amazing gift of another day. You came into this world knowing your mission but have forgotten it for a bit. Sit and search for your truth. You got this!

Brotherly Love

On July 17, 2014 By Moments with MillieIn Essay10 Comments

If there is ever a doubt in my heart about how I’ve raised my kids I think the Universe allows me to witness firsthand the fruits of my labor. Motherhood has never been easy. Parenthood is one of those professions that have no real manual (at least I never got a copy). Each child is different and guidance is specially designed to that soul. We are melted and molded together in a kaleidoscope called family.

My eldest son was leaving yesterday back to NYC after spending 10 days here. Even though he got to spend almost every evening with his brother who is 2 years younger, he still wanted to stop by his work one more time and say goodbye on the way to the airport. It was pouring down rain. He got out to see him at the hotel where he works. His brother followed him back to the car to kiss me and say hello. They stood in the rain once again, two brothers embracing and saying their “I love you’s.”

When I see that sibling love and respect it melts my heart. They speak every day. The older brother has always been the fatherly role to his brother. To witness their adulthood still close as little boys…well….it is heartwarming. With pride in my heart I take a tiny bit of credit for their closeness, always making sure they solved the rivalry and fights teenagers go through growing up. I did what I could in spite of so many difficult factors and environmental stressors. They are each others’ best friends. The older they get the closer they become.

Once again I collect this moment as a beautiful one adding it to the many magical ones of motherhood. Watching them stand close to each other and support their decisions, well what more can a mother ask for in this union? They are pure love and light!

If you want to know (or have confirmations) of your parenting skills watch your children interact with one another or with others. Manners, respect, love, and empathy are born from childhood. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. You got this. You taught them well…and the rest has been the grace of God.

Be Present and Listen

On April 23, 2012 By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

The other day someone asked me how I ran the few businesses I had in my other life. I explained that I wasn’t alone in the companies. I had a partner. Even though we worked extremely different due to personality and characteristics, I can say that I prided myself in being available and present to our employees, whereas my partner blew off the handle at any little thing, I chose to mediate. It wasn’t that I was always in agreement, but I was able to separate my feelings and try to get to a middle ground.

One of the most important things I have learned in the business world is that often times we don’t realize that what we think is important for a company doesn’t necessarily adhere to its employees. I think that the ability to surrender plans, dreams, goals and expectations is what builds positive relationships in the workplace. One of the most important ingredients in the workplace (and uniting employees with employers) is choosing a direction that everyone can feel is comfortable for the environment. It’s important to identify, engage, and internalize cultural diversity along the way. In every business there is cultural diversity. I come from a Hispanic community and the majority of my employees were Hispanic. I went out of my way to make the few who weren’t Hispanic feel comfortable. It’s all about being consciously present in your company and being humble to learn from other cultures as well. Here are some tips:

Brush up on your social skills
Always be present and listen
Don’t feel like you have to push-back or defend yourself immediately
Be humble and apologize whenever necessary
Be positive and resolve issues in a constructive manner
Reward efforts which will build stronger relationships
Have group incentives
Always thank the person for speaking openly to you even if it goes against what you think
Stand back and reflect

These points also go a long way in personal relationships. Being present, listening, and allowing the connection of another soul to bring magic to your space is priceless. Positive relationships go hand in hand, like a huge hug, with cultural diversity. Regardless of the issues, a smile, understanding, and humility go a long way for anyone.