Creation

When my second son, Patrick, was about 11 or 12 years old he got in trouble with his English teacher. Pat has always been an inquisitive and empathic soul. He has always desired to know the why’s, how’s and what’s of everything.

Now imagine this call from the school: “Patrick has been disrespectful to me today and I won’t stand for it any longer. I need you to come in and have a meeting with me and the principal.”

Next morning I was there with Patrick and the teachers. I had already heard what had happened from him. Mrs. Hernandez was pregnant and only a month away from giving birth.

“Patrick looked at me yesterday and in the middle of class asked me how it felt to have someone inside of me.”

I explained that Pat was fascinated with her pregnancy. He had watched the miracle of life every day and her stomach growing. What he intended to say, which he failed to do, was ask how it felt to have a new life inside of her stomach. My son sat there and shared deeply with the principal and teacher. Their eyes watered as he went on to discuss the beauty of being a woman, the power of giving life to this world, and the exquisiteness of creation.

It wasn’t pornographic as she thought. It was fantastic to see a young man wonder about the human body and the miracle of creation. He shared that “this miracle is something men will never get to experience. My mother had me and my brother and she adopted 4 more children because her body couldn’t make anymore babies…. We are all miracles because of women.”

I have never forgotten that moment sitting in that school at 7am. When I see a pregnant woman I always think of my son (and he’s 34 y/o). And I think daily of the amazing creators that we are even if we don’t give birth to a child.

We are magical beings. We have the power to hold divinity within us. And not just in birthing children, but in creating a life through authentic purpose. We are magnificent at constructing dreams and supporting others through love. We are mothers, daughters, teachers and lovers of the world. And together we are rising to make the world a better place for those we leave behind.

I love you!

Millie

Shaken Up

We are being shaken up to wake in truth. The shift is happening in a large scale. We are women, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. We are the divine feminine rising in masses. Stay in love and do not allow fear to consume you. This is happening on a massive collective soul level. Together we can heal and help the world heal. When one voice is heard it echoes across the world. So imagine what millions of beautiful voices speaking their truth can do to release old wounds? Regardless of these outcomes we can continue to show the world that truth prevails. And more than anything the light we continue to carry towards one another transcends this moment. We are making history every single second. This is one of the most powerful times ever. And we are witnessing our strength in numbers. I am healing my own traumas and deep treacherous memories. So thank you. Thank you to all the women (and men) for opening up and sharing their own stories of horrific assaults and events. I stand in awed of the magic we are creating. I love you.

The Beauty of You

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I found a box of pictures last night of when I was in my twenties and thirties. I was shocked to see how lovely I was. I never had the body of a twelve year old. I was always curvy and full. But, I was definitely pretty. I didn’t know it at the time. It wasn’t until recently that I actually met this woman that is now fully present in my body. That’s the thing with each passing year…while you are in your skin without acknowledging your worth and truth you just don’t accept your loveliness, beauty, and radiance. I was all of those things and didn’t even know. I wasn’t me. I was pretending to fit into a life of a society that expected perfection. And because of that I always picked partners who would instill the lack of worth in me. It was a wonderful dramatic play. I needed to show I was a good mother, a wonderful business woman, a magnificent housekeeper, and a decent lover. Everything had to be just so or what would the world think of me? Nope, I wasn’t really being me.
This morning I glanced over at the middle age woman on the mirror brushing her teeth. She’s no longer embraced by that lovely youth, or the concerns of opinions. The dark circles under my eyes and wrinkles diminished as I looked deeper into my soul. I smiled. “Ok, this is me. This is the hippie lady in the mountains. This is the me that was in there all along. I love you, lady.”
When was the last you actually looked at yourself and acknowledge your beauty: the inner and outer radiance of your soul? We can live in the past mourning the loss of what we had when we didn’t even know we had it because just like now, we don’t live in the present. We live in the past and the future. This moment now….this minute stand back and tell yourself how beautiful you are. See and feel your worth. It’s so important. You will never be this young again. You will never exist in this exact breath. Take advantage of it. Be gentle, be loving, and feel the magnificent spirit that is occupying the body. You are amazing. Be you today. Forget who to be when the world demanded that you be one way or this way or any way. Be the you that is here now! Have a blessed day, darlings. I love you all.

The Need for Retreating

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For several days I’ve been in a fabulous retreat up the mountain in a place that feels like a tree house. I’ve laughed, cried, created, purged, shared, listened, expanded, and entertained. I’ve witnessed magical “aha moments,” heard stories of tragic losses, and participated in healing. This is what I know as mystical. I can be in the presence of others and learn something about myself through their mirror essence. Sometimes those things do not happen right there at the moment. They knock in the middle of the night, or even days later. But, I can hold space for someone and not take it in while having empathy and demonstrating them love. I can do this in a way that I extract love and understanding. This is what a retreat and gatherings offer.

Each one of these women has been magical. Spending a large portion of five days with them has brought up so much in my own desire to continue gathering and sharing. Each single one has enriched me these past few days with the element of JOY. I haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time. I haven’t felt so free in many years. I have had silly moments and enchanting ones that leave the state of wonder to experience those things that have no explanation.

We are all magnets. We attract that which we are at the moment of thought and conscious choices. I love my wacky friends…my misfits…my unicorn-riding folks who aren’t afraid of being themselves. I love the ones who say what they think, and think what they say with depth and laughter. We are a tribe. We love together. We cry together. We question our paths but, without judgment, pull and push each other down the rocky roads. It’s part of our humanness to attract the good. It’s all so good here. Right now it’s all that needs to be without the element of restriction or expectations. It’s just perfect to be part of something so ecstatic.

At this age I am not getting older…I am getting playful, deeper, and acquiring a no-bullshit attitude. Life is too short. Enjoy it. Live inJOY! Attract the best of the best who vibrate on your frequency. Yeah! I want nothing less. The best treat you can give yourself is being fully present in a diverse group of souls. You get to learn from each other what works and what doesn’t.

I remember when I was part of the retreat center and folks would come to do their retreats. I would speak to people who would mention that they weren’t getting anything. I would stay quiet and think, “Oh, but wait till you get home!” There is no timing to reach emotional breakthroughs. Sometimes you must really get out of yourself to feel the difference. And, other times you just have nothing that needs to come up. But, when it does, it becomes the catalyst to something greater than the self. If you allow for those shifts you can feel the gratitude later on in weeks ahead.

To those magical women who shared deeply this week…thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey. Thank you for so much fun and bliss. I love you all!

Please check out our new page for living consciously through joy:

https://consciousnessjoy.com/

 

Tenderness of Time

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Some years are pretty uneventful with life changes.  You go through the daily routines, family issues, keeping the same jobs, everyone is healthy, same friends, and life is pleasantly stable.  But, there are some years that come in like a massive tornado storming through everything and twisting your life around.  This week has been the anniversary of such a year.

In a year’s time I’ve lost loved ones to misunderstandings and family gossip/issues.  I’ve cleared up my friends’ list and stuck with deleting those who didn’t really show me the utmost love and respect.  I got engaged, had a granddaughter come live with us, died in the hospital for a snippet of a moment, fell deeper in love with my fiancé, acquired him as a house mate with a bunch of animals, had to sell my car, awakened to many different possibilities, and had my last child graduate from high school.   I have seen my dearest of friends endure difficult life transformations; my children make painful choices; dealt with stressors of mental illness and destruction; and even made friends with a neurotic cat I thought hated me.  A year has brought me closer to many who I wouldn’t have been closed to before.  I have met amazing souls.  Most importantly I have made peace with me.  I’ve forgiven myself for a lifetime of self-deceit.

I have had several other things happen this year: personal ones that have deepened my faith, spirituality and belief system.  I have entered into the wise years of midlife with some acceptance that I know nothing of what I was able to articulate for most of my life.  I know zero…zip…nada.  I’m okay with that.  I am learning to keep my mouth close to those around me of things I feel, but my ears opened to the things I can share.  My heart has been broken, healed and enlarged because of such acceptance, conviction and awareness.

I am empowered by a few things: the surrendering of pain, the consenting of change, and the reward of letting go.  It isn’t easy!  I am still very human and learning is a constant complex forte.  I am selfish with my time, even now that it seems to move quicker with a little one in tow, and the solitary moments of having Divinity visit every morning.  I am trying to find balance where there seems to be a disproportion.  But, it is all a matter of perception.  I have always wanted this moment and this life. I feel gratitude embracing me when I step back to realize I have received everything I’ve manifested in my dreams.

A year in a life can make a huge impact.  Anniversaries of hurt and betrayal stay for a while.  The year is over.  The mourning has subsided.  I have so much more to enjoy ahead of this journey.  All hours work with the days whether we accept them or not.  Each day works beautifully within the weeks.  Each week flatters the consecutive junction of months.  And, each month gathers in triumph as the sum of a year.  It is nothing in the scope of reality.  Everything is an illusion of how we choose to live our lives.  Every lesson this year has been inspired with surrendering, love, compassion and most of all connection of self and spirit.  The greatest exercise has been in loving the tenderness of time.  Holding my granddaughter and feeling her joy, sadness, love, and spirit has been the icing of the cake this year.  What better way to begin a new chapter?  May your painful endings connect to wonderful new beginnings…always!