Tag: worth

You are worth it

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I am always fascinated and intrigued at how we stop ourselves from succeeding. We expect failure. That’s easy to accept. Even before we start we have already made a hundred excuses. It is really scary to follow a dream and stick with it, watching the magic of manifesting without control. 
We’ve been programmed to believe that the impossible cannot be attained. Nothing is impossible. You are possible. You have created a million scenarios and events in your life while believing and holding faith. 

You create the choices and perception. A simple shift makes all difference. 

Get out of your own way. 

You got this. 

Believe in the magic of your divine wisdom.

The Light In You 

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The strongest form of love is the one where you can show the nakedness of your vulnerability whether it be with a lover, a friend, a child, a parent or a stranger. It is the love that flies out without fear and restraints. It is the oneness of truly seeing another soul-to-soul. That love opens you up, releases the truth of what you are, and has no issues with judgment, criticism, or acceptance. It just is. Love is. It needs nothing else to exist. It is just that…the presence of Divinity at all times. And, you darling, embody this love to light the path aead. Have a loving day. Give yourself love, share it, and allow it to return with infinite openness to all. Mucho love to all! ~ Millie

The Mark

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We spend our lives trying to fit with others. We give our worth away, handing it over carelessly to someone else to mark us…tarnishing our very soul. We will never make every single person happy. Somehow we get a letter embroidered or tattooed as a mark, a label of sorts, based on how we are seen. Mistakes from the past get magnified and we are forever marked as damaged goods. Whether it’s a B for bitch, a W for witch, an A for addict, L for liar, or the rest of the alphabet, we live with a scarlet letter because of others. And, in those moments of poor judgment we actually own up to the bullshit that is instilled upon us. Most of the time that letter gets placed on us because of misunderstandings, gossip, and false illusions. They get stitched on our chest while hurting and degrading us, separating us from our spiritual path. People love to believe the Jerry Springer version of everything. OMG…the truth is really a boring place for most. They make their own assumptions. 

Our world revolves around the perception of how others view us. I think it is well beyond the time in our lives that we yank that letter off from our spirits and live on our own principles. It is time to stop the insanity of how others categorize us. Make YOURSELF happy. Do NOT allow another individual to dictate your worth. Do not place a price tag on your humanity based on past experiences. Get that letter and shove it up someone else’s ass (if you must) but do NOT allow anyone to make you feel inferior. Do not consent to anything but your own greatness and laugh at it all. Raise your frequency by letting go and forgiving. You are magnificent. 

God don’t make no junk! Every mistake and challenge has brought you here to grow and polish you for something greater. People will always (ALWAYS) find a way to believe things that aren’t true. It’s not your business what anyone thinks of you as long as you stay true to yourself. Burn those letters and rise to the occasion. You are the best version of you. Copies unacceptable. I love you. 

Recognizing Your Worth Through Others

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A little over a month ago I met a man through a friend for counseling and a reading on my specific roles and capabilities. He sat across from me with a bunch of charts, reports, and research for my human design. In his findings I came to see who I am and what I do, the things that need adjustments and many other components to my personality. I was able to recognize what truly moves me and makes me tick. I was able to understand what isn’t working for me as I enter my second act in life. As he moved from diagram to information I was taken aback by his sadness. He lost his husband a few months ago, the love of his life, and this man was very present in our meeting. I reached over to him, touched his hand, and told him that his partner was proud of him and how he’s moving on. I expressed that his life was still in turmoil but it wouldn’t always stay like this. I don’t know what else I might have said because the message was for him and not for me to remember. His eyes watered. Part of my human design shows my heighten intuition and he brought the message back to that awareness and how I needed to work from that place of “feeling and knowing.” He witnessed how I can shut everything around me and just go with messages from beyond without filtering.

But here is the thing: we fake things like actors in a role. We move through life with dramatic presence while hiding behind a facade. We hide behind our hurt and brokenness. We cover emotions extremely well.

Or, do we? Who are we fooling?

Our emotions bleed through other parts of our psyche and body. His emotions, especially anger and hurt, were evident at that moment. For me it is easier to decipher messages from Spirit when I know nothing of that person. At that moment I felt his despair and the need to just hold on tighter to his feelings until we were finished. I was overwhelmed by his tenacity in holding it together…and I am sure he does a great job at not sharing his most intimate thoughts, especially with a total stranger.  

This is the double edge sword of sensitivity. Feelings have a way of regressing, progressing and digressing. Loss is not something we can tuck away without facing it. It requires visitations, accepting and releasing. This lovely man might “know” this on a metaphysical level, but we are humans and, as emotional creatures, those things can be faked…up to a level. Emotions can be controlled on the surface, but by no means, will they remain hidden.

A few weeks later I walked into a store and I bumped into this man. He did not recognize me. He couldn’t pinpoint how he knew me. I had to remind him of weeks prior and his scientific findings on my human design. He immediately said, “Oh my, you look softer and lighter.” I hugged him, thanking him for a huge awareness in my life. Things have taken a 360 degree turn with me. I still don’t know what my future holds in terms of profession and purpose, but I no longer need to think obsessively about it. Thinking is not part of my architectural design. I told him that in his research of my personality, I realized that when I move through my “feelings and knowing” things always work out. My intuition and emotions guide me to the right path. It’s been a HUGE sense of freedom in recognizing why things get blocked when I start to “think.” I needed to get out of my head ASAP because things were being affected around me. He smiled and was moved with deep gratitude. Then we shared a few other things and tears began to fall quickly. He was grieving that day. He had no intention of leaving his house. Yet, he went to this little book store near downtown Asheville and found that the universe had an appointment for him. I had never been to that store and stopped that day to meet friends. I was there to remind him of his worth, greatness, and profound purpose in helping others. I love when the Divine plans these beautiful meet-ups. It never fails to remind me of how I love to be led by synchronicity and serendipity.

Our state of emotional connection with ourselves and others is magical. I have had many encounters with others when I’ve needed a pick-me-up. We are worth more than what we believe in ourselves. In those encounters with strangers I needed to hear and feel what they said at the perfect timing. This man did too. He has forever changed the way I perceive who I am and what I am doing here. Using his techniques and becoming aware of my emotional and physical bodies has allowed me to stand firmer in my truth.

Divine intervention is a magnificent source of love. It will guide us to find purpose and worth. It will force us to see who we are when we don’t believe in ourselves. May you find someone on your path today who can remind you of your presence and importance in this world. And, may it be an angel just like this man has been for me. Have a blessed day!

Why Not?

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I am fearless at times. I am fearful at others. But, the things that are fearful are based on emotions, prejudices, and endless questions. I follow a dream and I don’t give up until I have truly hit several walls. I am tenacious that way…almost exhausting in pursuit of what I want when I want it. I don’t see the “cannot’s” because I am too busy trying to find the answers of “why not.” The fears don’t arrive then. The fears are born from the reactions of others who can’t see my dream. They can’t taste it like I taste it. They can’t sense the sweetness of it. They cannot even believe that it’s attainable. I fear the nonsense of those judgments. I fear the way I have stopped myself in the past because of the voices saying, “Give it up. That’s impossible. You just can’t do that! You are too old. You are this and that!” I am fearless but in the lack of “no’s” there is still a small child waiting on acknowledgment from the older version of myself. I have been known to conquer some incredible things, falling hard, breaking things inside and out, and then dusting off the dirt, pulling out the scabs, and trying it again. All because I know what I know and it’s my perception. It’s sickening to witness my own stubbornness and relentlessness. If I believe in something, I will give it my all. I am fearless at times…in that way of achieving what my soul knows to be real. It’s not for anyone else to live it. It’s for me!

You have dreams. You have a million cannot’s that are birthed in those desires. You have folks confirming that you cannot do those things. I am here to tell you that you can. You can do anything because all it takes is one “why not” to conquer all the bullshit of the naysayers. You can be anything you want because somewhere in that little head of yours there lives a wish fueled by passion. That passion comes from your spirit. You were not put on this existence to pass the time, pay bills, struggle and die. Absolutely NOT! You were created to come into this world to make a difference…if only for the evolution of your soul. Find your fearlessness. Find your truth. You got this and I know you have a dream waiting to be ignited!!!! It only takes a curious “why not” to get it going.

For the love of art

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Last night I had a breakthrough. I did something I’ve been fearful of doing for years. I painted. I went to a painting class with a friend and I created something out of nothing…of course while following instructions. Most folks do not know that I used to paint a million years ago. I was actually quite good. I was going to attend the Art Institute in Paris in my late teens. And….then tragedy happened. I allowed life to dictate my worth. Funny how we give others that power. I stopped painting all together for years. I gave my power away along with every paint, canvas and art supply!

In 2001 I had a head injury and I lost my mind. I lost memories. I lost fear. I had amnesia and didn’t recognize my 6 children. I was 33 years old and I returned to being 19. I left the hospital searching for my paints and canvasses. That accident opened up my creativity for a short while. Then, again, I allowed with great effort and lack of responsibility others to dictate my worth. I stopped painting. I went to several therapists trying to get back the juices. I would stand in front of a white canvas and shake….violently crying in a massive overwhelming phobia as if it was a giant spider coming at me. I cannot verbally express the anxiety that the thought of painting kept bringing me. I stopped because the thought of painting literally made me sick.

Last night, with a birthday friend in tow, we went to a restaurant to paint. It was one of those Wine and Art sessions. I didn’t shake. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t judge myself. It was kid’s play. It was a fun elementary-school painting that I did not take as serious. There were several moments, while painting grass, that my old strokes appeared. I began to feel like Van Gogh again…for a few minutes. Then the internal critique began, “Oh my, the jar is lopsided. Oh, my God, this is crap….” But something mystical happened….

As the adorable young teacher was taking a break a young intoxicated man stopped to talk to her and tried desperately to get her attention. He was slurring his words, being silly, and she tried in a kindhearted and gentle way to move the conversation along so he would leave. I sat there watching this and laughing. EGO had just entered the space. There it was intoxicated, making a huge fool of itself. I saw it clearly. EGO was trying to seduce her just as much as it had been falsely seducing me with my art. I got it. I didn’t see a man. I saw years of self-sabotage waiting to be acknowledged. I stared at it and laughed out loud. My friend and I just giggled like two school girls at the scene developing in front of us.

I returned to my painting. Ego had been critiquing me. It had been denying me from moving forward. So what if it was a silly painting of fireflies coming out of a jar. It didn’t have to be perfect. At that moment I heard my eldest son’s echo, “Mom, it doesn’t matter what you paint…just do it. Create something and little by little you will get your mojo back.”

I have had many who have tried to encourage me to move past this issue. My partner, friends, children and even the little itsy bitsy voice in my heart…but to no avail. Last night watching the young man stand there making a fool of himself while saying something about the paintings I got it. Ego had no business being in my creative time. I love my lopsided Van Goshish painting of stars and fireflies swirling in the night sky. I loved my hands covered with paint. I loved how I felt breathing the mountain fall air as we waited for the next instruction. And what I love most is that I conquered one of the biggest fears I have had for decades. I allowed others to dictate how I should feel about my art. It paralyzed me. It killed part of who I am.

How many of you have allowed another to dictate your worth? How many of you have been paralyzed into deadly anxiety from living out your dreams? How many times can this go on without you shutting the drunken ego off? Sit that bastard at a table and give it some water. Let Ego cool off and move on. YOU get to decide what and who you allow to dictate your creativity, your worth, your love and all that you are meant to do in this world. You got this! I can’t wait for the next class. I might just be inspired to channel Monet!

Power of Meditation

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I have been meditating for years. My morning ritual started in the midst of chaos over 20 year ago. It was a way to start my day with intention and peace. Whenever I enter into a higher state of consciousness I travel crossing realms and moving into infinite guidance. I don’t know exactly how to describe it. Everyone’s experiences are different. I begin with prayers. If there is something that needs clearing or guidance I will ask, otherwise it is just a state of being. And, in that state of BE-ing I find answers to the most complex and simple questions. Sometimes it is through a vision while other times through a word or feeling. The power of letting go and retrieving into the Divine is invaluable. There is nothing more meaningful for me in the morning time. Whenever I skip this ritual I become a bundle of imbalance energy and I am reminded to find a spot to move inward if only for a few minutes.

Meditation has no rules. I get asked how I can just stop the thought process and chit chat? I don’t control anything. I blank out. But, if a thought begins to nag or nit-pick or just start to take priority I do allow for it. I sit it down as if it was a guest. I don’t make it too comfortable for a long duration and then I send it off by entering into my happy place. This is a bench in front of a giant waterfall in a tropical forest. I go there in my imagination and entertain the breeze, smells, plants and sounds. I am there in a heartbeat. Before long that, too, disappears and I am back in the emptiness of peace.

I believe that folks make too much out of just sitting and allowing. Control and rigidity begin to occupy the mind allowing for EGO to dictate what is correct. There is no right or wrong way. If you start with prayer and allow guidance to lead there is nothing that beats this healing modality of union with self and God. Make space for it. If you need to light incense or candles or have soft music then do so. Take five minutes of deep breathing while closing your eyes and opening the heart to all that is mystical. The Divine visits the moment you accept authentic truth and surrender.

Meditation does not have a religion. It doesn’t care how old you are. It doesn’t judge (that’s your Ego doing that) nor criticize if you are sitting in a yogi position or laying down comfortably. Meditation has no set rules. Sure you can buy into the idea that you need a teacher or guru and that you are doing it wrong but this is a personal involvement with God. No one can truly guide you there unless you are willing to marry into this relationship and commitment of love. How do you feel when you enter the state of sleep? How do you pray? How do you move when you are among joy with loved ones or playing in nature? These are all facets of meditation. Creativity is a huge form of meditating and being close to divine energy. How do you quiet your chaos? There must be a way other than through avoidance or addiction. I do know that when I have a huge blockage I go to G.O.D. (guidance over doing). I stop the nonsense that has been fabricated in me and begin to search in the depth of consciousness for a shift in perception. God lives there.

I am no master in how to’s. I don’t have a secret formula. I refuse to tell you how you need to do something because everyone is unique. But, what I do know is that the mind, body and spirit need moments of union without judgment or unworthiness from a life of social programming. The essence of you needs a space of entering divinity and guidance. We all need a form of relaxing into the breath of life. There are a million videos and CD’s full of techniques. However, YOU have the answer to how and what works for you. Meditation is not a secret society of the universe. It is simply the infinite of your own knowing and tapping into the infinite wisdom of Spirit.

I wish you a powerfully serene and magical day. Allow your faith and mysticism to guide you into the arms of God. The universe is your playground…make it a wondrous day! I love you. I love you. I love the you that embraces all that you are as AWEsome.