I had a long sleepless night last night. Sometime in the middle of the night I dreamt with God or maybe I was in a deep meditation.
We were somewhere in the thick woods where I always meet Her (Cinthya). She appeared right by me.
Me: God, I’m scared.
God: It’s okay.
Me: What if I fail?
God: You won’t.
Me: How do you know?
God: Because I know you. I made you. You don’t consider things as failure. You see them as lessons. You experience them as mile markers.
I stopped walking and looked at Her beaming light: But maybe it will be the first time I see them as failure. (I had tears coming down my face)
God smiled her radiance: You are not afraid of failure. You are anxious about success. The not knowing for certain is daunting to you. And then all the changes that will appear.
Me: Huh!?
God: You will be great. (She held my hand. I felt her unbounded energetic frequency. I sensed the truth in her).
Me: How do you know?
God: Trust me! Now, rest because you will be really busy…!
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If you feel like you can’t see light right now, be kind. We are all transitioning and evolving into newness.
I came out of a soft meditation re-entering this world with complete openness and vulnerability. I opened my eyes to the candles in front, engulfed by the darkness of early morning. It’s a sacred time. My favorite time of the day.
I moved my hand towards my chest patting the soft thump of movement.
Deep breaths.
Deep awareness.
I returned to what I know.
I hear the world at 3am. It’s quite different than any other time. It’s magical. The sounds from earth are therapeutic and of higher vibration. In that silence you can feel the connection of everything. You and I are not separate. There is no distinction of distance. There is only unity and connection.
The rain was thumping on the glass door. I opened up the blinds, and even though it was pitch black, I could see the silhouettes of the water.
I returned to my presence.
I bow my head in gratitude. A new day has arrived. I will do my best to help. I don’t know how it will show up. I don’t know who I will serve with love and kindness. My only job is to just show up.
I’m here. Sending healing to all the areas that are fractured or hurting. I’m here to help shift the conscious mayhem of social fear. I’m here to help love you even if you don’t feel lovable. You are magnificent. I will keep reminding you.
Today I went on a pilgrimage. My husband took the kids and I headed up my favorite mountain. It’s been a while since I have been alone. All alone with my thoughts.
This mountain is the place that for many years I would hike during summer rain, ice, snow, and every other weather condition to help with severe anxiety. I lived down the mountain and for years it was my daily commune with God. The higher I trekked the easier I felt the Divine. I released so much of my old life up there.
This was the place I broke several ribs, sprained my chest cavity falling on ice and ended up in the ER. Another time it was where I fractured my tailbone. I can’t remember the many times I sprained my ankles. The trail and I had many battles. Sometimes I won. Other times I was well defeated and I learned some powerful lessons. It was the mystical place I stargazed at night and played with my kids during hard times when I had very little money. I had many galactic experiences up there. Bearwallow Mountain pushed me to begin writing with openness about myself and nature. It was the place I took my husband on our second date and where, on Christmas Day nine months later, I asked him if he would ever consider marrying me to which he answered, “Sure, why not?”
And years passed before we married and during that time those hikes helped me heal so much of an old self that was strangling me. I hiked in order not to run. I hiked because while I was climbing that mountain I was living in the present. I was grounding myself in order not to hurt myself.
The terrain up there pulls me. The vast space on top of the mountain calls my soul. The smell of cow manure is like coming home to comfort. The decomposing of the earth is intoxicating. In a bizarre way all my senses are heightened and I come alive like no other place. Today I needed to go home alone. And while I was up there I realized that on this day ten years ago I came to these mountains for the first time. Two months later I would be calling them my home.
So I sat on my favorite boulder and spoke to God. I cried while feeling the world’s grief. The beauty was breathtaking. I began asking for the best possible outcome for my kiddos. I felt the cool wind go through me with assurance. A baby calf came up real close while I was meditating. We startled each other when I moved quickly. And I giggled like a little girl. It was pure joy to feel the simple ease of the moment.
Up there I felt my soul open up again like it had years ago. Memories flooded since it’s been a while I had been there. I found many heart shaped rocks to add to my collection. There is magic and connection there and I was reminded to not wait so long for another return. It’s free therapy that enlightens my spirit.
The mountain always offers me a sacred journey inward. It holds intimacy and rawness. Today it supported me once again. And it reinforced what I always believe: it is compassion and gratitude that bring us to ourselves. It is release and forgiveness that allow our return to spirit. And, it is love that makes us, creates us and embodies us at all times…all this through the earth. Nature heals us. We become aware of our small presence in this world. Nature is our connection to the Divine and to each other. The divine is the love that we are and continue to learn from.
The psychology of spirit is pretty simple. Think good and good will arrive. Think negative and most likely you will get it. Think of thinking either and one way or the other you will get the negative. Negativity is a lower frequency. It takes a lot more to create and manifest from higher frequency. Positive energy requires joy and trust.
There are moments that truly push us to the edge of our spirituality. There are others that put us back on track. And, yet in other circumstances we are reminded that these are always, “Good times!” I don’t care how bad it gets because the truth is that we are here placed on this earth to learn, evolve and love in the process of living. With or without our awareness we are here to have a good time.
Be mindful of what you think when you are having a pity party. Be clear on how long you will allow the party to go on. Don’t let a bad day turn into something that will clearly become some kind of victimization attitude. This life is not created for that. These are, indeed, great times. Obstacles appear as reminders that you can overcome anything. Each challenge is an opportunity for growth and expansion.
If you don’t show up to your highest spiritual capacity take a look at what is holding you back. Most likely it’s you. You are holding yourself back from moving forward. No one else is to blame.
Always take full responsibility on how you act and react. It’s time you stop the victimization or martyr mode. Time is wasted on such dysfunctional behaviors.
Enjoy the spaces between the highs and lows. Enjoy the not knowing until you do. You are growing, darling! It isn’t always easy. So just be. Let’s make these moments good times. These are extraordinary times and we get to decide what holds us, what keeps us, and what lets us go. Sending blessings to you!
We move through cycles of what was and what is. And, somewhere in between lies the illusion that these things make us whole and become our stories. Your story might be raw and full of pain, or it might consist of happiness and delightful moments. You have been embraced by love and lovers (past and present), but in the end it is this very second that glues us together. You have lost a loved one to death or just the ending of a relationship and it hurts like hell but you are still here surfing the ebb of deep waters.
This is Sacred Presence.
This is part of expansion.
This is a raw and vulnerable ability to stay here and share while connecting to another by saying, “I am here for you. You are not alone. I understand. I have experienced something similar. Or, I haven’t and it is beautiful how you are moving with grace, strength and faith.”
Yes, these are the moments that make us whole through the veil of life. These are the days that move through us in the subconscious with changes and growth. We don’t know it but there’s a shift inside. This new year is one full of growth and adventure. You have been tested for so long that you have forgotten what it is to just be in sacred presence.
We can’t look back and know when things changed and we gave up but they are there. Today I am making changes to a new opportunity to find joy in the little things. These non-judgmental days of self awareness are huge mile markers.
Today…Tomorrow…Every single morning is an opportunity for me to expand my heart and consciousness.
Are you ready as well?
Keep searching for your truth. It isn’t always pretty or perfect or without some hurt…but it is your truth. These are the things that have created your humanness to continue expanding in our world. The conscious shift in knowing and acceptance is evolving within you always. And how MARVELOUS you are, darling! Go be all that greatness you are meant to be!!!! Together we make some yummy magic. Mucho love.
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I wrote today. A lot. We had a snow day and the kids gathered around me playing, watching TV, while I ferociously got words out into pages of my journal. I don’t know how I could possibly have so much to say. But I did. Each line flowed into the next. Every so often I would put the journal down to feed them and stains of food would find way into pages. Signs of motherhood I guess.
And I wrote some more, on this full moon, creating and manifesting. I’ve asked with full intentions from my desires. I wrote until they took naps. Then I meditated. I lit my candles, burned my sage, and said my prayers.
There is magic getting dreams out in the open. There is mysticism that seems to align quicker when words or pictures are present.
Tonight take some time to manifest. This moon is powerful and directing us to find truth. It’s almost the end of a year. It’s been one of the hardest and most challenging for me in about a decade. It’s taught me more about myself than any other time. I’ve falling in love with so much that I never knew I wanted, and I’ve let go of so many other things that had me hostage.
Today I took a lot of time to cater to those things: the good and bad. It was a beautiful way to spend the day.
I was having a conversation with my spirit guides Saturday while driving. I asked to be shown a sign that things were aligning. There are a few things in the works and when I’m alone in the car I love to just hold meetings. Suddenly this car came out of nowhere and got in front of me at a light. My spiritual number that I see everywhere is 1111 and of course my initials. Lol. I was grateful and continued holding spiritual conference in the car. As I drove more signs showed up.
Do you see numbers? Do you speak to your spirit guides often?
Three years ago the mountains around us burned. We didn’t know if we had to leave our home. Weeks of that intensity took a hold of us. The unknown was weighing right above us a few miles down the road. So now, watching the devastation in California and Australia I am again reminded of the frailty in life. The winds can shift in a single moment and life is forever changed.
Take nothing for granted.
I went into prayer last night so deeply that I left my body on my bed. Hours upon hours of flying over these places pouring sand and water all over the land.
I returned at 1:11am to the sound of our little boy crying. I smiled at the time. When I returned to our bed I was still in a state of jet lag. This happens often.
Let’s continue putting out fires. Let’s continue being compassionate. Let’s be humans with empathy and love.
Sending healing out today. Shifting consciousness is my goal…for me and others to recognize the innate and miracle power that lies within us. We are fire and water and wind and everything else.
Hello sweet loving souls! Stepping away sometimes creates a different energy to move into a truth that otherwise gets distorted with opinions and criticism. Usually it’s our own judgment. In order to obtain your goals you must step away from judgment. No other way around it. We get what we create: drama, weight, health issues, money, and whatever thought you are obsessing on. The surest way to get really sick is holding on to resentments. Let that shit go! Someone hurt you…yes, see all the sides of the story. Someone criticized you…yes, you can see how hurt they are in their own stories while pointing the finger at you. Own your part in everything. Take full responsibility in the saga. Realize that it’s all a matter of perception. Also recognize how pivotal those lessons are for the evolution of your soul.
This is YOUR life. Don’t you forget that. It’s yours to live however you want with whom ever you please at whatever time you desire.
You have a goal, dammit go for it! Even when your ego is bitchy and negative. Because guess what? You create through your vibe. What you put forth with high vibration and frequencies is what makes the heart fill up with joy and becomes yours. The only obstacle in your way is YOU and how you perceive your choices. Are you worth it? Do you deserve this? Do you really want it? Get pen and paper and write the things you desire. Thank the Universe, God, the great mysteries for it all. Be grateful for them already being in your life even if you find it impossible. Do not try and control the outcome. Just BE! I promise that you will get that or better. Have a blessed day. Go create a life full of magic and mysticism.
There is a place inside of you that isn’t part of this world. It is the entire universe. You reside in it dormant waiting to remember your power and enchantment. You believe you are separate from all but you are the ALL.
That place is of great mysteries.
I reach it in meditation. I visit in sleep. I am reminded through dejavú and other synchronized events. And in the moment of awareness I am magic. I can see how fast I manifest and create what I desire. I trust that every fiber of my being is aligned to my dreams.
I forget at times. I get sucked into this human dimension that is influenced by stimulation 24/7. Then I find myself spinning until I stop and return to my equilibrium. To my truth. To my worth. To my knowing.
And it’s different for each one of us. It’s our own unique fingerprint.
So….Stop giving your power away to others. Stop believing that you are separate from Divinity. There is magic in your veins, in your cells, in every single particle of your existence.
Love yourself enough to return to its source because when you believe in yourself, the way you believe in others, you are unstoppable. And that’s when you begin to understand your purpose. That’s when you find yourself on top of your own universe.
Moments with Millie 