A New Level of Spirituality

A lot gets mentioned about economic and material poverty in our world. But because of these issues and events we, as human beings, are coming out of an era of spiritual poverty. People are searching for meaning, awakening, and evolving to fulfill the absence that money once occupied. There is no shopping, eating out, purchasing expensive homes and cars, or traveling to fill the void inside. Therefore, we find that spiritual quest is on a rise these days.

Two years ago we were put in a global time out. Millions of souls have transitioned in the last twenty-four months. Wars have begun and others have ended. The pandemic of fear took over our world like the plague. We’ve learned so much about tenacity, unity, division, faith, belief, manipulation and still we continue searching for a truth that is individual like our fingerprints.

Folks are recognizing that separation from self is not living an authentic life. It is actually sleep walking through it. People are enriching their lives with a faithful quest for Divinity. We are trailblazing into new frontiers of conscious shifters. Between a massive Exodus and a deep awareness of time being precious, we are searching more than ever for our place in the world… a new world we’ve never experienced beforehand.

In the past we have looked and searched for meaning, purpose, and aspiration from any source while filling ourselves with technology, drugs, alcohol, food, etc. People now seem to be questioning their choices more carefully. Spiritual richness comes from acceptance and allowing humanity to join together. It is about witnessing the old paradigms and pushing through what hasn’t worked. Strangers become friends because we see God looking through their eyes. Judgment is no longer dictating our decisions. We are rising into unity.

When we step away from the media, the fear-based headlines, we begin to witness the truth of our power. We are miraculous beings in full creation at all times. We recognize that there no borders in reality, only those drawn on a map; that money is a piece of paper without real value except what we give it, and governments have as much authority as we give them. And I am understand that it’s not as easy as black or white. We live in a flux of endless man-made gray areas that govern and determine our freedom.

But, there is God. There is a omnipotence source that is also always available to us. We live in a Matrix-like simulation and we get to unplug at any given time to see the real world. It’s up to each of us to disengage from the masses and find our moral compass.

I remember once reading a quote from Stan Dale, the founder of the Human Awareness Institute: “If God wanted to hide, He would hide in human beings because that’s the last place we would think to look.” I know this is now changing. We have been forced to take accountability for our divinity.

I feel we are searching more within ourselves and others in this new era. I believe we are looking through a child’s eyes, a stranger’s smile, or a friend’s words and finding God giving us a personal message. I believe in synchronicity, serendipity, and faith that we are all becoming more conscious of the thin thread that ties us together. I believe in Quantum physics, science of the mind, and the chemistry of God. I am continuously exploring pushing consciousness to the next level. Because of this, I know in my heart, that we are entering spiritual richness and leaving the spiritual poverty as a lesson in our human path. The footprints of selfishness, isolation, addiction, and destruction will be a distant memory in the near future. And, this is what opens my heart and allows me to look forward to deeper spiritual growth. This is also what keeps me reaching out and sharing stories of compassion and kindness even when they might seem mundane.

I may seem naive and gullible to many, for believing in this new utopia, but I have seen it in dreams, alternate timelines, and cosmic travels. I have sat in ceremony with divine plant medicine and experienced visions that have shown me the evolution of humanity. Whether it may happen, or not, does not matter. It all starts with believing and placing the vibration of love out to Gaia and it’s habitants.

An opened heart to the world brings peace, love and unity for all. I am so grateful for what lies ahead. It may get a little bumpy before we experience this new world, but I am here to assist through my own vibrational shifts. I am deeply blessed that I am not alone on this journey. Thank you for joining me!

I love you….Millie

Ask and Let Go

We ask and ask and then try to control the outcome. Then we start to get like little children… angry because we don’t get what we want (especially as fast as we want). Asking for anything in prayer requires the release of the situation. It’s truly about letting go. Let’s begin by recognizing that WE ARE THE MIRACLE. And in this miracle, we can truly create. We may not be happy with the outcome, since we have so many lessons to learn in this human experience.

Ask. Let go. Be grateful. It all happens in divine timing.

And yes, sometimes the opposite of what we want happens. Or, extremes in the challenges appear. There is no certainty to this human experience. It is truly a magnificent lesson in trust.

If you happen to have a perfect formula please share it with me!

I love you…Millie

Endings and Beginnings

My divorce is almost final in the next few months. Our marriage was held on by bare necessities for several years. It’s not easy to write about this but perhaps it can aid in someone else’s struggle. I believe when we see mirrors of our lives we feel less alone.

We failed in our marriage. We’ve played the blame-game and now we are on the other side of it. My soon-to-be-ex-husband and I share our two adopted children equally. This was truly the most difficult part of leaving him. I have never been a part-time mother. I have been all-in and the time away from them was excruciating at first. But, when each one of us have them, we dedicate fully to them.

Love isn’t perfect. I know my imperfections were magnified for a long while. I felt unheard, unseen, and constantly scrutinized. I cannot speak for him but living with a woman who completely shut down couldn’t have felt good. I could go days without speaking. I stopped trusting completely.

I will not dare say he didn’t love me enough. He loved me as much as he could. I can’t say what he felt since I don’t have a love meter. What I do know is that I became compliant and comfortable in a great amount of discomfort that lasted a very long time.

When I finally asked for the divorce, he didn’t flinch. He was concerned about our children. He didn’t ask to work it out. I had realized I was married to a stranger. I really didn’t know him. I had no clue who he was (or is, for that matter). I have learned that I wasn’t me either. I had morphed into some version of me that was not okay.

We held on until our sweet baby boy was adopted. And then the break came. I couldn’t find myself in the midst of the rumbles. I left my house, many of my things, and again did what I have always done when I am tired: leave without nothing.

Four years ago, on a trip to Peru, we were walking in downtown Cusco and I began to share intimate details of my previous relationships. He pointed out that I had a pattern of running and not taking what was mine. I would always leave everything and then started over again. He suggested that I needed to break that destructive pattern and fight for what belonged to me. Here is the thing about giving advice: when it pertains to you it isn’t easily accepted. Fighting for what is righteously mine has not been well received. Truth be told, I don’t fight well. I rather get it over with and move the energy into something positive in my life.

I believe in karma. I believe in cause and effect. I believe that what we resist does persist. The details do not matter. We are better apart than together, especially for the children. We both have our stories and how we felt in the marriage. The gaslighting is finally over. Now what is important is our children and the stability of two homes. He is who he is and I am who I am. We play as well as we can for the sake of two little souls.

There are times when the kids say they wish I was back home with them as a complete family. When they leave, I cry myself to sleep. There were months that I would keep track of days that I didn’t cry. I was shocked one day when I saw the imbalance. My sadness was a deep hole I couldn’t crawl out of. The façade of my marriage was too much to accept.  

A friend took me to the doctor after ending up in the emergency room days before with severe chest pains. I began to question my intuition, trust and judgment. As I sat in front of the doctor, my friend had to answer for me. I was depleted, exhausted (barely sleeping) and sick to my stomach. I was put on anti-depressants and other medications. They helped for a while. I eventually learned to deal with the issues in me. It wasn’t about him. He has been the most incredibly powerful teacher in my life. I had a type and now I see the patterns. I am adjusting the frequency of my attraction in partners and reprogramming accordingly. I am finally healing.

I can’t thank him enough for waking me up, even when he may never realize it. I had seen the world with rose-colored glasses. It was time to see reality. Navigating all of the ins and outs of our parental connections is the utmost importance. The rest is irrelevant at this time. It is all in the past and I wish him nothing but the happiness I was unable to provide. I respect him for being a good father to our children. He has taught me so much about strength and forgiveness in myself.

There is life after heartache. I promise you! The last few years have been about growth and getting to know the real woman in me. My divine feminine was completely asleep. I am mothering myself, nurturing the beautiful experiences in my life. I am forever grateful for a tribe that has sustained me, picked me up, dusted me off, and allowed me to evolve.

I have been putting off sharing with others for a long while. For the most part, folks have been decent and have felt something odd about my personal life but never pressured or asked. Humanity is magnificent! I am also grateful for all those who knew things that never shared while I was married. Not that I would have listened or believed them because when I love I get completely focused on giving till I have nothing left for me. I truly believe he deserved my love.

I am loving how much has changed and evolved spiritually and emotionally in me. I am stepping every single day into my authentic truth. I marvel at the experiences ahead. Love is always there waiting. It can literally walk in through your front door. It may look different, feel different, taste different, but it is always available through self-love, forgiveness and acceptance. May you find the courage to stand in your convictions and leave where you aren’t honored.

I love you. Thank you for sticking around to read this long post….
Millie

Box Fan Murmurs

Sleep eludes me

And I begin to

Retrace memories,

Tasting the experiences,

Painting different outcomes,

Waiting for the light of day.

The box fan murmurs,

Playing the soundtrack,

Making melodies

For my mental album.

A 5-year-old shares my pillow.

Arms over my neck,

Legs thrown over me,

Soft snores and mumbles,

And the sweet smell

Of an innocent new life.

Where would I be

Without the presence of

These little ones

Loving me,

Holding me,

Healing me?

I toss every so often

Finding comfort in the now.

I trace over the past

Weaving it to all that is,

All that I’ve become as

The box fan murmurs…

“Let God. Let it go.”

I hear the melodies in the room.

The sounds of ancestral chatter,

Each whispering through

The cycling of the fan.

Life happens in this second,

During sleepless nights

As murmurs echo round and round.

Millie America 5/2022

My sweet baby boy passed out… I wish I was sleeping as peacefully as him.

The Joys of Mamahood

These two little ones are like magnets. They cannot be apart from each other too long. They fight, argue, and then have to crawl up next to each other. Their beginnings weren’t easy. Kali Rose, was my daughter’s first born. My ex and I took her in when she was only 5 months old. My daughter came into my life from Romania when she was 9 years old. She is mentally unable to take care of herself, let alone a child. Luke was her second child. He is 3 years younger than Kali Rose.

It took us four years to finalize his adoption. He was with his bio-mom for 10 months of his life. It was not a pretty or easy story… one that I can’t share without my heart breaking into tiny pieces. He is healthy and happy and one of the most forgiving souls I’ve ever encountered in my life.

My daughter has had two other babies who are now loved by forever-adopted families.

I may know a little bit about being a mother… of 8 kiddos. I have learned that patience is the essence of relating to our children. That humor can change a room full of kids. That love is the bare necessities of their development. And, that somedays are hard and full of challenges and things can shift in a minute. All of it passes in the blink of an eye.

I don’t know if I am a good mother or not. It’s not for me to decide. Some of my kids will say I am. Others, not so much. And we all have our stories.

I have been brought into this world to mother, not just my children, but myself and others. It’s in the past few years that I have learned to mother me in places that I neglected.

I miss my mother on holidays like today. She was a hard woman, and she was soft. She was courageous, and she was fearless. She taught me the things I wouldn’t do to my children from what she did to me. My mother was a warrior and an incredible powerful example of strength in my life. There was an unstoppable force in her that dictated everything and everyone around her. Her perseverance was definitely passed onto my genes. When I began to adopt children she was not happy to say the least. She judged my choices terribly. And, as most people who cannot accept their own choices, she lashed out at every decision I made with my children. However, she did love them in her own way.

Mothering my kiddos has been the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. Even on the days that I am exhausted, hurt, and have no clue what to do, I find myself laughing and crying simultaneously.

What makes a mother a good one?

Your ability to transcend all the hardships and turn them into lessons. Your ability to forget quickly and forgive deeply. Letting go is the secret to this profession. If you hold on too tight you lose your grip.

I used to compare myself to the perfect PTA mothers at their school when my children were little. I could barely get all six out of the house and when I would drop them off at school I would judge myself based on how the mothers all looked. My kids were dressed, clean but sometimes (okay maybe a lot) disheveled. They were loved deeply. They knew it and felt it.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I hope you remember to mother YOU. Recall those moments you thought would last forever and you made it. You have done your job. I also want to honor those who aren’t mothers of little people but animals. Others who have chosen to mother the world with their love and presence. I believe there are fathers out there mothering the hell out of their children alone. My hat goes off to all of you. Every single person in this world has the ability to mother the world.

I love you… love yourself with the same fierce intensity you give to others, including your children.

Millie

The pics below are from our day exploring yesterday:

Make a New Path

You have the power to create exits, entrances and a million pathways along the journey of your life. You aren’t stuck with just one way. That’s old programming that needs shifting. Make another way, build a beautiful path, take a road not taken… but do that one thing that leads you to something miraculous.

You’ve got this! You forget your power. You forget that no one is here to save you. You have to do it yourself. If there are speedbumps, slow down. If there are barricades, back up and go elsewhere. You get to decide how fast or slow you move… but keep moving!

I love you. Make each step count for something yummilicious!

Millie

You can also visit my other blog: https://www.sacredjourneyinward.com/blog

Faith

The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you. Its purpose is to exist for the best possible outcome that aligns with your higher self.

That’s faith and belief.

Faith is not an ability to foresee the outcome of a situation. It isn’t the holding on and believing the far circumstances of every tomorrow. Faith is the anchor that holds certainty even when it doesn’t look good, even when you have no clue what will happen. It is taking every single step blindly while knowing that the Universe has your best interest.

You aren’t in control so let go and let God! The moment you start to manipulate an outcome, things begin to fall apart. You create scenarios and obstacles that have no business being there.

Live in the magic of transformation. Love the journey of what is and what isn’t. Laugh and be inJOY! That’s where you will find God.

I love you…

Millie

Moving through Spiritual Wisdom

There is a massive amount of energy being experienced by many right now. We are leaving the old and merging into a newness that has only been in dreams. We are manifesting quicker, setting deep intentions, watching them unfold. It’s incredible all the things I have witnessed in the past week, with clients and alone.

The time is now. Put it out there. Follow your dreams and desires. No more time wasted on waiting. You get to shift the obstacles and move into your knowing… your spiritual wisdom.

I love you…Millie