Beginning Anew

Today is my birthday. Not the day I came into this world almost 50 years ago. It’s my fourth year of a new birth that changed me. It’s a day that seems significant to me like someone who celebrates being sober and clean. It will forever be the pause that caused a huge awareness. I learned to live.

The lessons I learned from DEATH are just as intense and valuable as the ones I am learning from LIFE. I am not the same person I was six months ago. I am not the same person I was when I returned from the ultimate space of LOVE. I continue to expand from this experience as intensely as I learn from living. Every single day!

I cannot tell you what to do. I cannot tell you how to live. My experience is mine to grow and expand for the evolution of my soul. We all have experiences. In the journey of life we have mile markers that forever shift us. You are the only one who knows what you need. I can only share with you what I live through my spirituality and my humanness. The truth is I have nothing to give you. I can share glimpses of stories from others and how to gift them with love.

And all I know is that love will forever move me.

After my awakening, from a brief moment of death, I promised myself that I would love as profoundly as I felt loved in that moment. I swore I would bring that sense of divinity back and it’s been a constant reminder that in one second life can change. Our thoughts and beliefs can be altered.

Do yourself a favor and live like if you are dying. It won’t matter what you did a year ago, tomorrow or in ten years. I will forever be grateful for the guidance and the knowing that all I am and forever will be is the embodiment of true love. In the end that is truly all that matters…to me.

Have a blessed day. Be good with yourself. No matter what you do give from your heart. Love is always the answer. Mucho love to all.

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You Are Fire

I admit yesterday was a challenging day: emotionally and spiritually. Some personal matters got to me in a way that surprised me. Later, before coming home from work, I visited a sweet elderly client who will be 85 next week.

He is in the middle stages of dementia, in between recognizing that he’s slipping and shifting, and accepting that his mind will be completely gone in no time. Watching him struggle is not an easy feast.

He sat trying to tell me about his deceased wife. He got frustrated and in that moment his tears swelled. Mine began to let go. All I could do was sit holding his hands in mine. I told him it was alright. But the truth is that it’s not alright. And he knew it. It sucks. It’s pure yuckiness.

So we sat there. In silence. Crying. Wiping each other’s tears. Then eventually voices returned to the room. I broke the silence with sarcastic humor and he laughed.

We cannot deny our truths. I remembered at that moment how I felt when I lost my memories and I had to go home with a man I didn’t know after my accident. My brain injury was literally a wake up call. I remember staring at pictures of us and the anger and frustration of not recognizing the moments, or the person. It was excruciating and debilitating.

My client held the picture of his wedding day. He couldn’t understand the white dress or where it was. He recognized his gorgeous wife but he didn’t know what was happening. I took the photograph and traced her dress and told him they were the loveliest couple ever. He smiled. He agreed. He doesn’t remember her name anymore. This is the part that hits him hard.

This was the end of an emotional day. I got him up from his recliner and hugged him tightly. By the time I was leaving he was on to something else. The moments came and went. I believe the visit was truly cathartic for me. I needed the release…and so did he.

This morning I woke clear and free of the inner critic scolding me. The chaos was gone. A gust of wind pushed outside and woke all of us up. Our daughter slept over 12 hours. We all slept great.

Each day I am thankful for long nights that turn into mornings, friends that turn into amazing family members, dreams that turn into reality, challenges that turn into blessings, and likes that surprisingly turn into love in the most unexpected manner.

It’s a great day to have a magical one. Embrace all the emotions and allow for the visitations to come and go. You are a freaking fire. I love you.

Trusting the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage. I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve. Trust and let go.

Gratitude

My husband and I are blessed with a child who doesn’t sleep. Nights like this last one, when we get maybe two hours, I am grateful for the sleepless moments. This little girl teaches us patience, understanding, how to dilute anger in a constructive manner, how not stop liking someone you love with all your heart….and so much more. She’s Yoda in the nighttime world.

It happens less and less these days! However, when she has one of these nights I remind myself (and my hubby) how blessed we are for them.

Let’s face it…without a sleepless night you cannot relish and appreciate a great night of sleep. It’s an opportunity to go through a pack of sage, creating dreams (including a separate house with a nanny), and truly utilizing my psychology degree to its fullest. It is 10 + hours of using the imagination to the best of your abilities. It’s a championship for parents. What a blessing it is to endure such precious lessons.

So when things don’t go as you plan shift your perspective because there is always something good in every struggle. It makes you a badass. It might make you exhausted but it will make you appreciate other moments fully!

Have a blessed day. I am grateful for a delicious morning and so happy to be going to work. Like really!!!

Forgiveness

A few weeks ago during meditation I received a clear message on love and forgiveness. When I returned from that place of healing energy I sat with the openness of the lessons. I was elated and heartbroken; giddy and stricken by shame; opened fully to release while embraced with egotistical guilt. I understand duality. And so for days I sat with emotions as they visited throughout the holidays.

I am always blessed with guidance from Divinity. I believe that the higher we go on the chain of evolution the less we hold on to regrets, resentments, anger and other lower vibrational frequencies.

You know when you’ve grown? When you no longer hold another in your painful thoughts. You know when you’ve evolved spiritually? When you only wish them the very best in spite of what they caused you. You know when life is providing true freedom? When you see the hurt coming way before it arrives and you simply accept it and move on. You set boundaries and are no longer a doormat, but you allow for those experiences to teach you about your humanness. Oprah has said, “True forgiveness is when you can say, Thank you for that experience.”

I pray that the same way I have learned to let go that those folks I’ve hurt in my life can also release my wrongdoings. Holding on to shameful experiences is no way to live. It’s unworthy of our time.

Letting go is not easy. It’s not a cliche that we can swallow when we are angry and full of resentments. It is true work in progress. It’s sometimes the struggle that creates such a distressful sense of anxiety. But, letting go of the past, traumas, events, atrocities, and anything else actually creates a sense of BEing. You eventually begin to find balance through gratitude for those life assignments.

You deserve a serene state of consciousness. Your higher soul will provide the most favorable lessons for the evolution of your spiritual growth. It’s up to you to accept them and move on.

Forgiveness, in every sense of the word, is gracious and merciful. It’s part of this human journey. Don’t let hurt keep you in a prison of your own hatred.

Love heals through forgiveness…always! And when you forgive you make room for more magical beginnings.

Needing Each Other

Be soft with your spirit. Be gentle with your essence. BE authentic to your purpose and calling. Rid yourself from the negative self-talk. You become everything you say that you are or that you are not. We are born every day, every minute, every second. We are here on borrowed time. Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another.This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done.This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To Do List, is all irrelevant.

Really…this is nonsense. All the fake-ness of pretending and showing others a different person in order to fit in society. I want to know YOU…the real you that cries in your car, gets giddy at the first dog you see in the street…the YOU that loves the moon and stars.

There are folks losing their jobs, their homes, and families. There are others sitting alone in a hospital room watching a loved one fight for their lives. While some others are in the petty claws of political and religious arguments on social media….life is happening out there. Life is happening in here. Life is a series of ongoing movements and motions reminding us that we get to pick the perception and reaction.

I don’t know why bad things happen. I don’t know why anything happens. I would like to believe it’s for the evolution of our higher self. I would like to believe it’s part of a larger design. Who truly knows at this point? I have to be led by faith and that onset programming of a higher body of spirit guiding me.

What I do know is that we need one another. We need a tribe. We need love. YES…lots of love and to turn on our hearts to accept and spread it.

We need to know that we aren’t alone in the path of obstacles and challenges. We need to get out of our own head space and truly feel the vibration of another who is part of the overall conscious mass and start shifting towards changing the negatives to positives.

Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. Use your energy wisely. Just get out of your freaking head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life.

Stop the craziness of self doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. STOP focusing on the lack of anything and start creating by living in joy. So…live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion. You don’t own this blue planet alone. I am here. You are here. Let’s be here together in peace and harmony. Let’s be raised by love and light. We got this!