Be Kind

What does it mean to be present with someone’s pain? It means to see them. To feel them. And in that moment of acknowledgement you find a connection. Even through the smallest of acts.

Kali and I are visiting clients today. She asked to go to Starbucks to get her favorite bagel. I placed my order and ran with her to the potty. Upon returning to the counter I see her bag with my name on it and before I can grab it an elderly man with an oxygen apparatus grabs it and goes to a corner to eat it. I stood there in awed. I actually laughed in disbelief.

So I return to the line and asked for another. The young man asked if I got it and I tell him the little guy took it. He’s shocked. I asked him to please not make a big deal. So he gifts me another bagel. I ask to please pay for it. He tells me, “No way! You are too kind and generous. The man should be paying for it!”

I stand there, folks in line behind me, and I motion him with my index finger to come closer over the counter. “He is dying. You and I are not. Well, maybe but not at this moment. Let’s gift him this moment of consideration.”

His eyes water. I move away from the line. The elderly man is struggling with Kali’s bagel. I wink at him even though he avoids my eyes. I see him. He lowers his eyes in shame. I see the cream cheese leak out of his mouth. I grab a napkin and hand it to him.

“God bless you. Would you like some coffee?” I asked.

Tears start to swell in his eyes. “No, thank you.” He whispers it as if each syllable cuts his throat.

Kali and I grabbed our new package and leave. She said, “Mama, that man is going to heaven too!”

I sit with her in the car feeling the sorrow. And I pray for a smooth journey. We are all on this path trying to find ourselves.

Be kind, darlings! You never know the battles others are enduring. Every minute we get an opportunity to learn a lesson. Stay open to that magic. ~m.a.p.

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It Only Takes One

Many years ago I attended a Tony Robbins seminar. It was gifted to me from a dear friend. I was in the worst financial crisis of my life, at the time. Our business had gone under. My ex and I had built a home and we were depleted. Creditors demanded their money. I was under the illusion that it was the end of everything. My fear of being homeless with six children was paralyzing me. It was absolutely one of the worst periods of my life. I was in a dark hole. To make matters even more interesting I had an accident months prior that erased my memories of many events from the past. I was struggling to make sense of every decision and every choice.

I attended the weekend seminar (hesitantly). Tony has an ability to pump you up. He is all energy and I sure needed that. In the midst of all the exercises he mentioned that when he started his teachings and lectures he had decided that quantity didn’t matter. If one person showed up to his lectures then that was the one soul who needed it. I don’t remember much else except the feeling that I could do anything. That weekend catapult me into other amazing beliefs about myself.

That seminar was back in 2002. To this day I have kept that lesson close to my heart. If one person reads one of my posts or blogs then that’s the one who needs it. If one person is touched by my words then I have done my duty as a human to help another.

We are in a society that believes that our worth is determined by how many “likes” we receive. We are obsessed with numbers and the need to be accepted. And this is not who we are. I grew up in a generation that didn’t have symbols on a screen to determine our worth.

When you compliment a person on the street, or at a store, or on the phone you might just be that one soul who has really seen him/her. You might just be the lifeline that allows them not to feel invisible. You might change their world with your acknowledgement. It’s that simple.

So…keep doing what you do. Keep showing up. Keep sharing with the world. Keep striving to be light for others. Even if it’s just one person that shines a little brighter because of you…you’ve done your job in human form. It only takes one person, darling!

I love you. I see you. I feel you. I understand. You are not alone.

~m.a.p.

Share the Love

A friend recently told me that there was no way to ever get into another relationship. This thing of falling in love is dangerous and painful. It’s better to be alone. You can’t get hurt if you stay alone. I listened. I know what it is to feel the destitution and betrayal of another. I know the hopelessness, shame, rejection that arrives from being vulnerable in an intimate relationship. But, those relationships were great…yes, even the shitty ones. They were amazingly powerful. Some taught me things about me that I never saw before. Others forced me to change those things I didn’t like in them while projecting in me. I love each one of those past lovers. Each one! Even the most detrimental experience showed me something powerful about darkness. So to shut it out completely is like stopping the flow of breath and life.

It takes time to heal from this brokenness of love. Often times it isn’t the love that needs healing but the idea that it was love and not lust. Love is wonderful and magical. It can leave us depleted and ruined when it departs. But, we can’t blame the other person completely. We took part in the journey. I always ask myself, “What was I suppose to learn from this? What the hell did this person bring up that has left me feeling like the worst possible person in the world?” Oh, I have tons of questions when this happens and then, when I least expect it, I find the remains of something beautiful. Sometimes it wasn’t about teaching me anything. It was a soul connection that needed mending from another time and space. I’m no expert. I have had my shares of anger, depression and disgrace because of past relationships, but I have given myself the time to heal and have gotten up again to get back on the horse. My tenacious ways don’t allow for another to take my power anymore.

Had I not put myself out there I would have done myself a great injustice. I enjoy being in a relationship. I enjoy loving someone. I love laughter, intimacy, and craziness. Part of my journey is to love unconditionally. If I get hurt I will return to the starting line and begin the race again. I don’t hold resentments. I forgive rather easily. I let go even quicker than before. I take my losses, fold the winnings and continue with on the path. Perhaps I am a sucker for punishment. I don’t know!

Love is not meant to be kept and guarded inside our bodies. The damage is astronomical. If you see the bitterness, anger, and sadness that others carry around you just want to stop, grab their hand and hug them. But, our society is not programmed like this…yet! You were given love to share. You must give it away. It isn’t yours to keep only for yourself. The heart breaks often, not just from relationships but from so many other situations and events.

You must forgive those souls who taught you the pain. You must forgive yourself for participating in the stories. This is part of our human evolution. It’s okay and it will be alright. It’s more than normal. We are here together. You can’t be an island on your own…even Tom Hanks began to talk to a volley ball and give it love. You must be willing to stretch your spiritual heart and provide the world with your best. We are all interconnected by this one vibration. And guess what? Most likely someone will hurt you again and again. And, guess what? You will continue to get yourself right back up and continue to forgive and love. This is what we came here to do. It’s our human responsibility to let go and continue to love again. Now go sprinkle some love and kindness out there. Have a blessed day! ~m.a.p.

The Journey of this Life

There are moments….sometimes seconds of complete awareness when you find yourself exhaling in relief. You are not alone. Someone else understands the intensity of being human. Someone gets it on your same level. They are on the same wavelength. They have similar experiences. They just know. And, in that transferring of heart and soul you come undone. You become suspended beyond time and space because the world no longer feels like a scary place. The journey is fully bearable. You are heard and accepted. You get to feel human and more importantly, humane.

We are not perfect. I know for certain that I am not a PollyAnna all the time. I am not flying on fairy wings every second. I have “episodes” when I am alone in the shower, the car, or a closet and I scream to the mercy of God. Cause, guess what? I am the most perfectly imperfect woman I know. I get it. I have an ego at times the size of Texas and the humility on other times the size of North America (including Canada).

Thank you for being my lifelines…thank you for being you with all your authentic truths. It helps immensely. You are never alone! So many others are feeling this human shit to the core. It is truly okay not to have the answers about the future. You are meant to be right here. Right now. In this moment. You are a divine being living your lessons. There is purpose to it all even if you do not feel it.

I love you. Go make some magic! Sparkle, darling. Big time!!!! 🧚‍♀️🦄🌈

New Beginnings

new beginnings

I take the month of April as a time to celebrate. All 30 days honor as my birthday. On April 1st, I lost one of my sweet elderly clients. I loved him dearly. Although he was in hospice care, I didn’t expect his departure. On April 3rd, I lost a family member who died way too young, leaving three young girls. Yesterday I visited a brand new baby at the hospital who will be adopted by a beautiful couple. She was born from a crack addict who abandoned her as soon as she could leave. Holding her in my arms completed the circle of life. As two souls left this world, this little one came in fighting for her existence. Life is fluid and magical. I left the hospital celebrating it all…the losses and the gains. All three cases are heartbreaking and require emotional acknowledgment.  All three souls touched me in deep ways. I keep hearing the pain out there but I also keep rejoicing the healing and love.

A week ago my husband and I made another difficult decision. We will be taking on another child who needs a loving home. We will love him with the same ferocity and acknowledgment that we’ve given to others. I will be 50 years old in two weeks. It’s not an easy decision but it is the right one. He sat across from me and shared that “Batman never questioned or ignored his bat signals. He armored up and went to the call….” In this case he is Batman…and I am his side kick (yours truly). We will answer the call and provide the superpower of love.
I suspect this is going to be one of the most intensely surprising April’s. We leave in two weeks to Machu Picchu on a spiritual journey of sorts. It’s been calling for me for some time. And, we need this before re-entering another phase of parenting. I sat across from him and said, “Darling, this is not my first rodeo. This will be number 8. I know how this works.  This is number 2 for you. I know you will continue to be magnificent in your role….” So, Peru will be healing and full of mystical surprises.  My spiritual guides have been preparing me for some incredible experiences there.
I feel it’s time to recharge and return to the origins of me. It’s hard to define that. It involves faith, grace, and acceptance. I suspect that something is emerging and it’s lovely on so many levels.  I am open to the expedition of self. It is spring after all…regrowth and newness.
I urge you to make decisions without worrying about how others will react. I ask that you live fully and love openly. Life is fragile and beautiful. You get to decide how you choose to live it. You never know what’s around the corner even when you think you have it all figured out. I look forward to my journeys…the trip and another round of motherhood. For months I was living with panic attacks and anxiety during the night. I couldn’t figure out why. My soul knew of the changes. I resisted unknowingly in my human form. Once it showed up I was able to return to peace. And here we are…today is beyond lovely. Our little boy will be arriving to a home full of joy and love.
I want that for you as well….joy and love. Over and over again. I love you.

Blooms

These are blossoming outside our house. Every single bloom carries with it endless possibilities. It can fall with the wind. It can be picked by a bird or bug. It can have a branch fall on it. But, as it stays on the branch it doesn’t judge another bloom. It doesn’t ask permission to grow. It doesn’t care what the rest of the tree does. Its only existence is being. I look all around and see the blooms of spring. It is my favorite time of the year. Endless adventures in just BEing. I am reminded that every day is a new chance to be. To be the best and love openly and wholeheartedly without expectations or judgment. I am one of these little blooms. And so are you!

Step Back

Things happen every day.

I am learning from every experience that the greatest part of happiness, suffering, joy, and all other emotions is dependent on the perception and disposition of how we relate to issues. It isn’t based on our circumstances or events. It is all based on how we relate to the situations. We get to choose to be stagnant or move forward.

Shit happens! That’s all there is to it. But, if we allow the discomfort to set in and stay in that space then we are living on a reaction rather than shifting our perception. A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life. It’s just a bad moment. It is a lesson. It is the universe providing an opportunity for spiritual expansion. Sometimes it is just a push in our timeline to wake up and return to the present. We get triggered and ignore it.

Don’t! DO NOT DO THAT!!!! If you ignore it the issue will persist.

Step back and get outside. Get out of your ego. Remove yourself from the event. Things alter and change when you give yourself permission to just be. In two minutes a phone call from a friend can alter that disappointment. In a few hours your children can invite you to be a kid again. You don’t have to reside in the negativity forever.

That’s all!

Have a blessed day! ~m.a.p.