Your Inner Child

These showed up again in FB a few days ago as TBT. That little girl had such an innocent view of the world. She believed in the moments when love held her hand. She believed she would have many children. At that age I said I would have 10 kids. I drove my mother crazy when I saw a baby in a store. She believed in happy endings. She believed that she could shift a person’s mood by just holding their hand. I look at these pictures and feel my way back there. They were only a year apart. But that one year left me empty. My father left the day before Christmas and never came back. He went to get cigs and disappeared. The little girl with short hair was the cause of chopping my pretty hair off because he loved it so much. I cut it off myself and then had to get it fixed.

It took a long while to return to the heart of the little girl with the long hair.

Your inner child is always there. He or she sits waiting to be acknowledged. Make sure you take time to play. Forgive the past for not being able to know what you know now. Also forgive all those who hurt you.

Return to love. Return to who you were before the world turned you into someone else. You deserve love and peace…then and now.

A New Day

It’s a new day. It’s a new opportunity.

I have spent several hours in meditation throughout the night. I’ve gone deep into the wilderness and other realms. I have found that there is static all over the place. Something is happening. It’s massive in both the dark and light…the duality.

There is a collective sadness. There is much anger. There is exhaustion. And add that times millions and we have an epidemic. But we also have massive release on a spiritual and cellular level.

I don’t know how to help. I keep asking guidance. I don’t know what I can write that will help start the release and healing for those who need it. I don’t know how to hold you if I’m here and you are there. But…

I believe in mindfulness. In sacredness. In the profound effects of love and forgiveness. I believe in Divine guidance and universal forces. I also believe that we can raise the energy to joy and compassion. We can shift.

Find others who are vibrating at a higher frequency. Spend time healing while doing things that bring you gratitude. Work on you and attract the things you want. We always have choices to remain or move into a new emotion. We truly have the most amazing gift and ability to evolve at all times…and grow into newness.

I cannot tell you how to begin healing. Or letting go. Or surrendering the hurt and anger. I can, however, hold space with you from here.

I feel that is one way we begin collectively healing ourselves and others.

I might sound like a childish broken record but just love. Love with what and who and where you are. Love heals. You cannot love and hate simultaneously. You cannot stand in darkness and call it love. Compassion and kindness are flames of pure light. Let’s start there.

I am holding you…from here. In this realm and others. Prayers are waves of yummy frequencies. They reach the heavens and all the places beyond.

Join me…with each conscious breath stating the love to the world and we will make ripples in the fabric of the universe. It starts with the energy of gratitude and joy and mostly…love.

I love you from here and there and everywhere.

(Image taken yesterday morning over the Blue Ridge Mtns)

It’s About Love

I want you to put your hand over your heart area. I want you to close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Become aware of your rhythm. Your heart is not the place of love. It’s the place of life. It pumps blood to your body. Now I want you to think of how you feel when you are with loved ones, when you are touched and caressed, when you are held in gratitude. That feeling comes from your mind…from the deepest part of consciousness. It is the essence of soul.

We get to decide who and what we love because we are love. I’ve never understood why the heart was associated with love because I feel it all over. I feel it in my head and in my toes. I feel it when I hear stories or hold a friend in need. I feel it in hugs and words and silence.

Everything in my life is about reaching the highest vibration of soulfulness…which is love.

Darlings, your heart gives you life. Your consciousness expands through love. You are LOVE. We are connected through it. It isn’t a hippie-fied movement. It’s the awakening to truth.

~m.a.p.

Your Purpose is your GPS

For a few months my husband and I were prepared for a huge change. We had decided to take another child, my sweet babies’ little sister. Unless a miracle happened and she was able to stay with her foster family (she’s been there since she was born and she’s 15 months old) we would fight to make sure she would come with us.

The energy was in motion. No regrets. No hesitations. We knew what was right. We also felt miracles happening. What seemed to be an impossible situation would be cleared up.

I didn’t share publicly. I did not want to hear one single person judge me on “not another kid, Millie!” Or anything else. I needed to send the vibes to the broken system of Florida foster care and the courts. I needed all my energy to fight for what is the best possible outcome for our granddaughter. So I did. We did. My husband and I talked about it daily. We made changes in our lives and home. We began to prepare for whatever we needed to do. And we did. Every day came closer to vibrational alignment.

Yesterday we heard that the agency will allow for the foster family to keep her just as she’s been. It was a miracle indeed. It has been an ongoing battle that has made many of us truly uncomfortable (to be left in the hands of a privatized company that doesn’t see the welfare of the child but dollar signs). There was a possibility she would be going into an unsafe environment. We still have to go to court in a few weeks but that decision was a tremendous relief, not because we didn’t want her here, but because

she has a family she’s loved since the day she was taken from my daughter.

I share this because the moment you release and surrender to the divine is the moment the universe begins to align with your energy.

You don’t have to share publicly as you struggle. You don’t have to fight naysayers. You just stick with your faith and send the energy out for the best possible outcome.

I know folks will always want the best for you. Some don’t understand your choices. Some will challenge your beliefs. Some will expect you to change your mind. Some will make you feel as if you are insane. But, darling, you DO YOU. You do what you need to do for you and your family.

And, let me share something that is magical…I have come to the acceptance that I have to fight for other children. I recognize now that I’ve been fighting for children’s rights since I was in my 20’s. It hasn’t been only through taking them into my home. It’s been through standing up for a system in our society that is fractured and deeply wounded. I will continue to do so however that shows up.

Our spirituality is a personal fit and wear. I teach and learn through those who have little voices. And I will continue to take in whoever needs it whether in my home or just fighting to keep them safe. I am not asking permission. I am stating a fact instead of having to duck my head down not to cause discomfort around me. Judgment is always available!

Now you…get out there and recognize your truth and your purpose. It might feel like a small defeat or it might be a huge fight. Surrender to the mysticism of what you believe that you are guided at all times.

Blessings. Be guided by the higher powers. I love you.

Love is What I Do

Many years ago I dated a man, on and off for several years, who said that my biggest problem and Character flaw was that I loved too hard. In my ignorance (and lack of worth) I continued to love him harder when he didn’t respect that love. I gave all of me without keeping some of that love for myself. Apparently my “hard love” triggered him and brought up issues from childhood. So I loved harder until I was able to step away from his lack of love … for me and for himself.

I learned a lot about love through the rejection and the criticisms of how I was overwhelming. I suffocated him with all the emotions. I choked him with unconditional openness.

This is me. He wasn’t ready for that vibration or frequency that comes from just loving without expectations. He wasn’t able to accept any kind of love. He wasn’t willing to heal and that’s okay.

I love…sometimes until I don’t like the person but continue to hold sacred heart for them.

I love while separating the toxicity and disrespect. I cut ties while setting boundaries.

I love, in spite of hurt, because it is the catalyst that always heals, especially self love through forgiveness.

Love isn’t the words but the actions behind them. It isn’t the actions alone but the frequency of truth and respect. It’s isn’t just truth and respect but the authenticity of how you show up through the boundless and limitless expanse of your essence. We are love. It isn’t hard to give. It isn’t hard to receive. It just is.

So love. Without expectations or rules.

Love hard or easy; soft or loud; neatly or disorganized. Love is why we are here. It’s how we show up and continue to evolve.

And one last thing:

I love you. Yes, even if I don’t know you. I love because that’s what I do.

No More Hiding

I spent a large part of my life hiding. Recently, after a healing session with an incredible soul, I recognized the patterns and programming. I shared with an old friend who immediately said, “Oh honey, you’ve been hiding all your life. I’m so sorry!”

Her sorry was genuine and my tears flowed out again. She saw me. Really saw the trail of bullshit left behind by a Narcissistic mother. And I’ve been working on cutting cords for a bit now. I tend to listen to the voices of the past when I try to lead my children in the now. I don’t want to be like my mother. I second guess every single major decision in spite of what my heart and intuition show me.

Healing is about release. It’s surrendering to the now while letting go of what has kept you captive. This can be physical, emotional or spiritual. I don’t believe in examining and re-examining the past because that story is no longer there. We create new ones but at some point ancestral wounds need to be cut. And they are!

I purged all day and night. Literally letting shit out. That’s how my body always works when I start to release and forgive. It’s mystical in how deeply connected I am to receiving energetic healing from Source.

Sometimes we don’t really know what’s inside no matter how much we work on ourselves. It takes an outsider to guide our spirit on a new journey and quest.

Here is what I continue to learn daily: unhealed people hurt through their unknowing-ness. They don’t recognize they are hurting anyone, especially a child. As I continue to feel seen the vulnerability is heighten. I am no longer a little chubby scared girl feeling judged by the world. I am no longer a 20 something woman walking on eggshells afraid of what others think of me.

The healing sticks when we become aware of how we allow toxic energy from others. Those folks continue to show up to remind us of our growth. I am blessed they continue to show me how to set healthy boundaries. I am grateful their narcissism is so prominent that I can see it coming miles away.

I hope you can also see them and send them love. You don’t have to participate in their dramas. I see you. I honor you. I love you.

Forgive Yourself

Almost six years ago I had a near death experience. When I woke the next day in the hospital the neurologist spoke to me and told me that stress can kill us. I knew this. But in spite of knowing something we don’t always practice it. She said, “You don’t know what you don’t know until you do!” She had witnessed grown men who had been in the military turn comatose after the shock. She had witnessed completely healthy women have heart attacks from broken hearts and then have strokes. At that moment I realized I had been given a gift. And this gift was to be mindful of how I carried the weight of the world on me. I don’t have to fix every single thing or person. I don’t have to even try. I just need to continue trusting that I get to be where I am suppose to be daily and I serve humanity in the simplest forms. I get to forgive myself when I want to reach and be there for another but I’m too exhausted. Or when I don’t call or communicate to loved ones as much as I should. I get to honor my mind, body and spirit without the guilt I used to have. Then…only then…can I continue living a life that’s a delicious blessing.

Forgive yourself for what you think others expect from you. Forgive yourself for not wanting to over-extend your energy. Be mindful that you are only required to show up and love. You take care of your immediate family in the best way you can. The rest of the world will continue living. Be gentle with you. Let go of all that past programming. You’ve got this.