Tag: God

Faith

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Faith is not found when everything is going smoothly. Faith is witnessed when the world collides with chaos and struggles. That’s when we search for her. Often times we are angry because we feel she’s abandoned our space.

Let me share what faith looks like to me. She’s in the nights when you are crying yourself asleep because a loved one is dying near you, or when your wife has decided to walk out of your relationship, or when your child has ended up in jail. She’s in the aches and brokenness of your fears and the disappointments of your expectations. She’s in the desperation and uncertainties of life.

Faith is sitting quietly waiting on you to grab her and shake every cell inside of you to trust and let go of the situation. She is there to take over if you just let go of the control. She’s the light that gives way into darkness.

When your world comes apart and you cannot find reasons to logically make sense of anything… that is when Faith is seen and felt. That’s when she whispers through your personal beliefs, “I’m here. I have something better. I will work on this. Trust!”

Your job is to allow her to step in. But, without controlling the outcome. Without micromanaging every step of the way.

I have met many religious folks who have zero faith. They go to church every week but when their world gets rattled by hard obstacles their faith is completely absent. They live in fear and lack belief.

And then I’ve met some folks who say they don’t believe in anything. When things happen they have found something stronger than themselves to carry them through it. They say they believe in themselves. That’s also Faith.

So what is faith? It’s not religious. It’s a deep spiritual knowing that you are here to learn and evolve. It’s the opportunity to shift awareness and morph into something powerful.


We have all experienced horrific acts in our lives. We have undergone atrocities. We have overcome major obstacles. Some of you are experiencing these things right now.

What keeps you going? What’s the thing or substance that allows you to get up and keep moving through it all? I bet you have some amazing stories to share. And I also bet that Faith has a lot to do with how you overcame those challenges.

I love you!
More than you can imagine, just cause you are here sharing space with me this way. I have faith in YOU!

Millie

Grief, That Old Friend

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Grief is inexplicable. It hits at its own timing. And, to be honest, it never goes away. We learn to navigate it. We learn to miss without the intense pain. We learn to live in a different manner.

When I was 23 years old I met a young man my age. We worked in the industrial power transmission field. The first day he came for an interview, right out of college, we shook hands and the electricity that passed through our hands was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced, or have felt since.

Before I could even figure out what was happening we had a tremendous love affair. I was in and out of a relationship with someone much older who was married. This young man and I connected in a way that was out of this world.

At 25 years old, after a long break up because of my other relationship, he asked me to marry him one night. I said yes. That was March 11, 1993. He was dating someone else, and I was still in that relationship. We both broke it off that weekend. On the way back from breaking up with his girlfriend he hit a wall on I95 on March 14th. They found him with a small English/Spanish book in his hands.

This loss shut me down. It took my light with it. It would take years to understand. But, something happened shortly after his death. He began to show up in dreams. I wasn’t as spiritually aware as I am now, but I would feel him all the time.

Whenever I am struggling I find a dime and a penny. $.11 was something we would find together. Those close to me marvel at the fact that this happens often. There will be a dime and then a few inches later, a penny. He has been around for almost 30 years and has guided me in ways I cannot explain.

But grief, that old friend that reminds us of love, can sometimes get the best of us. This morning I opened up my kitchen cabinet to get my coffee mug and in a cup I rarely use was a dime and a penny. I don’t even ask anymore how this happens. Maybe the kids did it long ago. I don’t know. I know I was supposed to find it at 4:44 this morning. That’s how guidance works.

We are always held by deceased loved ones. ALWAYS. I often forget to call out to ancestors. Rarely do I forget to call out for him. He has been my steady companion for decades. And, I know we will one day be reunited.

Your grief is not meant to be suppressed. It isn’t meant to be bulldozed. It’s a reminder that you loved. That you were loved. That you lived. That you had someone who loved you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, a child, a lover, a fur baby, or whatever. Sometimes we mourn places and things.

You are loved. You are here. And, I promise you that you will always come out with grace on the other side.

I love you!
Millie

Erasable – Hard Copy

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I am feeling it all at this very moment. My publisher messaged me that the book was in my mailbox since Friday. I ran across the dark street gripping the envelope. Once I opened it… OMGosh.

No other book I’ve written has had such an impact. Nothing else has felt so intense and healing simultaneously.

When my publisher reminded me that it is next week, the 11th, it became even more real. Holding it seems surreal. Twenty years all inside a computer waiting for the perfect timing.

My five year old climbed in bed with me as I was tearing up. He took the book from my hands. “Mommy, you wrote a book.” I said, “I have written several. But this one is about my life.”

He sounds out the title which is a big word for a kindergartener. He starts to tear up. I see the puddles of tears in his green eyes. He hugs me.

“Can you read it to me like a bedtime story?”

“When you get older. It’s a big-people book!”

He smiles while wiping his tears. “You did good, Mommy.”

I read the acknowledgment part to him about all my kids and he smiles and thanks me. Then we lay together. He wanted to go wake his sister up. I told him that I would share with her in the morning.

Sweet tears. Sweet love. I am blessed. Not by anything but the recollection of a well-lived and loved life. His reaction will forever be tattooed in my heart.

I love you all for the constant support and love your give.

Millie

Conversation with God

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I had a long sleepless night last night. Sometime in the middle of the night I dreamt with God or maybe I was in a deep meditation.

We were somewhere in the thick woods where I always meet Her (Cinthya). She appeared right by me.

Me: God, I’m scared.

God: It’s okay.

Me: What if I fail?

God: You won’t.

Me: How do you know?

God: Because I know you. I made you. You don’t consider things as failure. You see them as lessons. You experience them as mile markers.

I stopped walking and looked at Her beaming light: But maybe it will be the first time I see them as failure. (I had tears coming down my face)

God smiled her radiance: You are not afraid of failure. You are anxious about success. The not knowing for certain is daunting to you. And then all the changes that will appear.

Me: Huh!?

God: You will be great. (She held my hand. I felt her unbounded energetic frequency. I sensed the truth in her).

Me: How do you know?

God: Trust me! Now, rest because you will be really busy…!

*********************

If you feel like you can’t see light right now, be kind. We are all transitioning and evolving into newness.

I love you,

Millie America

Loving Simple Things

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There are so many events in my life… single moments that scream “pay attention right now!” These stretches of time give, take, and release into the universe the joy of being me. I love them as they alone stand in shifting my awareness from too much to the NOW. It’s these things that capture the person I am and what I cherish in my life:

I love when my children call me for no reason whatsoever but to say “hello, Mom, and I love you.”

I love laughing till I cry, not in a corny way but in a way that an intellectual conversation suddenly dives into silliness and whatever was said before the outbreak is forgotten.

I love random texts full of hellos and gratitude in the sweetest way possible with just a word or a picture.

I love how tears escape unexpectedly with a sound of a one-sentence story with no expectation of filling the air with more.

I love sending cards, delicately placing each word with a tiny piece of my heart to fly into the hands of another.

I love smells that remind me of something far and gone but linger for a few seconds in a corner of my mind.

I love old songs that transport me into a place and time of embrace.

I love unexpected hugs in a middle of a talk when it has nothing to do with touching and the skin of another amps and vibrates from the shock of grabbing onto it.

I love chasing sunrises and sunsets when the colors remind me of God’s masterpiece.

I love the perfect cup of cafe con leche and bringing it back to bed as I snuggle for just a little longer with my thoughts and prayers.

These are non sequential moments that open me up, gather the spiritual side of me, and then drop me into another place that I cannot verbalize. They touch and burn and linger for a while allowing for the complete gratitude of Divinity. And like that, I love the way some folks can hold a glance without saying much and hand a smile that contagiously plants itself on my face.

I love feeling the earth on my bare feet when the soil is moist and cold while reminding me to ground my scattered soul. I love seeing the light in others that speaks louder than anything they can share with me, or seeing their angels and ancestors watching over them. I love sitting with anticipation each morning and waiting for light to break through the darkness while I say my prayers, light my candles and wish for goodness in the day. I also love how when someone is sleeping they can murmur a part of their dreams while inviting me into their dreamland.

And, one of my favorite things is the smell of truth and authenticity when someone has no agenda except being in my presence just because they feel loved and appreciated. These things happen without my knowing. They just bring me back to the present as a gift from the Heavens.

May you find joy in your favorite things while attracting more of them!

Oh… and I love YOU~

Millie

The Place Inside of You

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There is a place inside of you that isn’t part of this world. It is the entire universe. You reside in it dormant waiting to remember your power and enchantment. You believe you are separate from all but you are the ALL.

That place is of great mysteries.

I reach it in meditation. I visit in sleep. I am reminded through dejavú and other synchronized events. And in the moment of awareness I am magic. I can see how fast I manifest and create what I desire. I trust that every fiber of my being is aligned to my dreams.

I forget at times. I get sucked into this human dimension that is influenced by stimulation 24/7. Then I find myself spinning until I stop and return to my equilibrium. To my truth. To my worth. To my knowing.

And it’s different for each one of us. It’s our own unique fingerprint.

So…. stop giving your power away to others. Stop believing that you are separate from Divinity. There is magic in your veins, in your cells, in every single particle of your existence.

Love yourself enough to return to its source because when you believe in yourself, the way you believe in others, you are unstoppable. And that’s when you begin to understand your purpose. That’s when you find yourself on top of your own universe.

I love you,

Millie

Ask and Let Go

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We ask and ask and then try to control the outcome. Then we start to get like little children… angry because we don’t get what we want (especially as fast as we want). Asking for anything in prayer requires the release of the situation. It’s truly about letting go. Let’s begin by recognizing that WE ARE THE MIRACLE. And in this miracle, we can truly create. We may not be happy with the outcome, since we have so many lessons to learn in this human experience.

Ask. Let go. Be grateful. It all happens in divine timing.

And yes, sometimes the opposite of what we want happens. Or, extremes in the challenges appear. There is no certainty to this human experience. It is truly a magnificent lesson in trust.

If you happen to have a perfect formula please share it with me!

I love you…Millie

Beach Walk with God

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I had a walk on the beach with God this morning. I went into meditation using some amazing music a friend in Finland has created. I found myself walking along the shoreline of this gorgeous beach.

I wrapped my arm around my bodacious tall black woman with Caribbean accent as she held me close. Our feet parted the water, sinking into the sand… taking in the salty air, the sound of birds, the hollowness of wind moving through the trees.

Me: “I am so happy to be here with you again.”

God: “Me too, ma’ child.”

Me: “I am struggling. You know! I feel like I am failing somehow with being a parent.”

God: “I understand (she giggled). I know how you feel. I am always witnessing my own creations and wondering how my children don’t ask me for more help. I am only a thought away. Children want to know answers without really waiting for them. They ask and ask and interrupt and not make time to listen. You make the time to sit and find me. You are one of my favorites, Mildred America.”

Me: I laughed loudly. “I say that all the time to people about being my favorites.”

God: “And where you think you got that from, ma’ child? Every thought of joy, compassion and love comes from me.”

Me: still laughing… “True! I never thought of it that way.”

God: “What has been your favorite thing in this life?” (She held my arm tightly. The water began to wet her white linen pants. I smelled the Rose scent that always arrives from her as she moves with ease). “I know you have many, but I want to hear you tell me your top favorite one.”

Me: “My children. My kids are definitely my favorite of all things. Even in their challenges and struggles and distances. They’ve made me more compassionate. They’ve been my favorite teachers.”

God: “Ain’t that something! Me too. My children, each one of you, are my favorite of all creations!”

I held tighter to her arm. We stopped and looked out into the vastness of ocean and mountains around us. I took in the silence between us and she hugged me tightly. I felt the immense essence of love and safety. I was being cradled by the ultimate omnipotence source of creation. I broke the silence: “I never take these moments for granted with you in my dreams or in my meditations. Thank you for sharing this time.”

God: She wiped my tears and bent down to kiss my forehead. And in the most endearing accent she said, “Now gwan… you is late for more mamahood. Mi soon come when you need me!”

And so God let go of me and sent me back to this dimension with several answers to my questions as the smell of roses lingered on. There is always a prolonged peace after our encounters. Her words echo throughout the passing hours. Her touch reaches my heart as if I am being supported by something extra in my story. I am made new… and I am transformed from doubt into a deep faith in the unknown.

~m.a.p.

Meetings with God

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I had a dream two nights ago… really profound. I dreamt with Keanu Reeves.


I know, right?! Keanu!!! That in itself is magical. Do you know how hard it is to get him in a dream? He’s in high demand these days.


He was on his motorcycle and he stopped right in front of me on a street in a small town. I was over the moon excited. I mean, it was Keanu in his leather jacket looking all Keanuie. My body melted. Imagine Keanu stopping to talk to ME? He explained that he wasn’t really Keanu. He was God but he was using his body as a vessel to get my attention.

Oh! He got it. I was impressed.


He asked me to climb on the back of his motorcycle. And I did, wrapping my arms tightly around him. He gave me a helmet and it had a microphone so we could converse.


So, there I was on the back of his motorcycle and we rode through the desert. I could see the Grand Canyon up ahead. The vastness of space was spine-tingling. And he said to me, “Let go. Put your hands up.”
I hesitated, but I did it. I tightened my legs against the bike. I feared falling off.  I could feel the heat against my skin. I put my arms out and let the wind guide me. The speed was enough to knock me off but I balanced myself against God and the unknown.


Then he said, through the microphone in our helmets, “Millie, let go and feel the wind. I am guiding you. You aren’t in control. Just feel the freedom and enjoy! This is how you need to live.”


I yelled, “Weeeee!” I was so full of carefree giddiness.


He laughed. And he reminded me again that He is always guiding me. All I need to do is trust. I need to move with the flow of what is and let my knowing lead.

So… God, looking all sexy on that bike, said a few more things I can’t remember. I do remember the feelings. I felt like I could do anything. And I can.


Last week I visited with God as a bodacious black woman with a beautiful Caribbean accent. I met with her during meditation. She was in a cabin in the middle of a rainforest. She invited me for tea. I smelled the sweetness coming from the kitchen and she came out with my grandmother’s delicious bread pudding. And so there we were… chit chatting like old friends, God and me.


In less than a week the Divine has found a way to connect with me. I feel something magical happening all around us. Do you? We are always so in tune with guidance. The trick is to make time to listen. And when God shows up… drop everything and tune in.

~m.a.p.