
This week I’ve had to adjust and readjust my self-talk. I have had to dig deep to find answers about my life and the world. I’ve had to reach a place of forgiveness and grab on to love while healing.
Listen, darling! Sometimes healing happens in the silence of the night, alone in your room, with a thousand tears cleaning your soul.
Other times it blooms in the presence of loved ones. I’ve witnessed the many places and spaces it can decide to come to surface.
Healing may dance and sing and wrap itself in joy. Or, it can play peekaboo for a long while.
What I’ve learned from the beautiful appearances is that once it shows up you begin to feel better.
Healing is unpredictable. It’s always aligned to your experiences and how far you can process the pain, the trauma, the memories. Allow for it to come and visit in its own time. Don’t control it or manipulate it by pushing it down, aside or out. It has to do its job or otherwise it gives you false
Hope. It can make you feel like you will no longer feel the pain… until it reminds you that there is still work to be done.
You’ll know when you’ve healed. I promise. Don’t rush through it. Don’t agonize over the pain to go away. It’s got to do what it’s got to do. And then it won’t do it anymore.
I love you,
Millie
Healing from the double trauma of losing first Bogie and then Ducky is going to take a L O N G time for me. I’ve adjusted to life without sweet Bogie. I’ll always miss him, but with Ducky’s help I adjusted to his not being here. But losing my soulmate, my little angel with paws, has torn my heart to shreds. She was my live-in emotional support – and I was hers – whenever Sam’s dementia turned him into a hateful stranger. We have an everlasting soul connection; but it’s hard to love on a spirit. I’ve taken to holding on to and carrying around Ducky’s favorite indoor toy…a little Koala bear stuffed toy that she used to carry around the house…when I need to feel that special girl. It’s so cute, and it still has her scent on it. It gives me some comfort when I need it.
Oh mama! I feel your ache. I am so sorry. Grief is ongoing. There is no time limit. Allow for it to come and go as it needs to. Holding you tightly. I love you! M