Lost in a Moment

time

Yesterday, while sitting in a waiting room for my granddaughter to get her pediatric check-up and shots, I witnessed humility at its best. I observed a young woman with her grandfather sitting side-by-side. The woman was reading scripture to him from her phone in Spanish. His distant look was endearing, sad, yet holding the rawness of final years in humanity. I have witnessed it many times in loved ones who have suffered from Alzheimer’s and dementia. Her words gently stroked him in his state of deep thought, lost in some other realm trying to reach this one. Every so often he would ask where he was or why he was there? She would rub his arm softly with security and explained he was there to see his doctor. She would continue reading from her phone. He would stare endlessly into a space void, a time warp, with a haze over his eyes that said, “I am here but I am not,” while her words caressed every syllable and his stare carefully followed them.

I sat, almost embarrassed, through the voyeurism rocking my baby girl back and forth trying to keep her entertained in the stroller. The scene put life back into perspective. I paused often, holding back tears, as he would question her again and again in moments of complete confusion. I thought about my mother before she passed. I thought about my children, when in their toddler stages, would ask again and again the same questions expecting different answers. We enter through youth and end through similarities…waiting for the love and care of another to lovingly embrace us without anger or judgment.

And, there, holding a one year old, attempting to make sense of life now and the hours ahead I was touched by humanity at the core of vulnerability. We are humans avoiding the constant flow of deep emotions. We keep busy here and there exploring the senses without truly being present. We are in need of love, touch, acceptance, and safety. If we are as fortunate as this man we have done an amazing job with our lives. He was touched attentively by someone dear and near to him. In the end that’s all we should want and need: the love from another who can care for us and still see us human rather than a burden.

Even today the scene tugs at me.  I feel the claws of gratitude urging acknowledgment. I am grateful for health, love, and the acceptance of my humanity. I am grateful for my evolution, the things I have accomplished, the obstacles I have endured and the loved ones dear to me who return with hugs and kisses. I am humbled by those who accept my imperfections and choose to laugh through my moments of insanity. I am deeply loved! I know this.  I feel this with certainty.  I am touched by friendships, relationships, and a man who would go to the end of the world in order to make me smile. Ah…we are made from complexities but if we allow vulnerability to guide us we are touched by the Divine. Mucho love to you!

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9 thoughts on “Lost in a Moment

  1. Reblogged this on Living Life Day by Day … and commented:
    “Once a man twice a child” is the most chilling reality of life. It’s hard when we see our loved ones who looked after us so ably when we were young needing that exact care if not more in their golden years. We can relate to our children asking the same question over and over but may become impatient when the questions are posed by our elderly parent. We eagerly change diapers on our babies but hesitate to deal with incontinence.
    Alzheimer’s not only affects those who suffer from this terrible disease but moreso (my opinon) the caregivers. Our hearts bleed and our minds constantly ache but my best take-away was this: “We enter through youth and end through similarities…waiting for the love and care of another to lovingly embrace us without anger or judgment.” Thanks for sharing this great post; loved it!

    1. Thank you for the kindness of reblogging. I am happy you liked it. Alzheimer’s is definitely a terrible disease. It affected many in my family. I believe I was deeply touched by the moment because I remember so deeply what it felt like to witness it with my loved ones. Sending a huge hug….Millie

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