There are moments in our lives that arrive through suspended animation. They don’t seem real. The mind immediately wants to react but somehow the body goes on shutdown. These moments, if we allow for them, have major lessons in their suspension, surrealism, and detachment from our current reality. The intriguing part of allowing for lessons without judging them is that they feel suffocating and painful at times. They disrupt the balance of our peace and joy around us. It’s hard to stay present and move through these moments without reacting or wanting to change things back into the comfort zone that makes us feel great. No one likes attacks, especially when they come without a rational occurrence.
I have a really hard time with understanding another’s selfish behavior. I always have. I have little tolerance for tantrums, explosions, and childish behaviors. I don’t always react immediately when put in these types of situations. However, when I stand back and watch I usually come to the conclusion that the action has little to do with me…even though it’s in my presence and slashed out like a whip in my face. People hurt others at times without an ounce of understanding where the explosion is coming from and why. They have been modified and programmed to explode without reaching inside to see the origin of the emotion. In most cases the closest folks are the ones who get the bombardment of this behavior.
As humans we internalize traumas, past events, and then masquerade them into explosive reactions with others when there’s a trigger. The trigger also has little to do with the event. Our brains are wired to receive, perceive and release. When one or more of these wires are not addressed the reaction to things sometimes becomes a catastrophic moment of anger, hatred, and irrational behavior. It’s as if the person turns into a complete stranger: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The longer the issue is avoided or not properly addressed, the more those tantrums and spasms arrive. Sometimes an addiction (such as drugs, alcohol or sex) is linked to these issues which magnify the hidden problem to a monstrous degree. Your higher consciousness has stopped whispering (to address these issues) and is now yelling to the top of its voice to find a solution. We are not meant to hold things forever. It stops the evolution of our spirit.
I spent a great part of my adult life avoiding anger. I would have moments of anger and then repress the emotions. I was told as a child to “suck it up, put up with it. This is life.” So, when events would appear in my path that went against my belief I would repress the feelings of anger. But, anger is healthy and it is a wonderful emotion to push out those other strings of emotions inside…only when it is addressed to the core. Those who cannot or will not reach the place of hurt inside will continue to hurt others in their path. I believe the body starts to fabricate illnesses in order to release the toxic emotions. We are not meant to separate the mind, the body and the spirit. They must work together in complete alignment.
I am determined to move through this new year with ease and a beautiful sense of adventure. I refuse to hold on to anyone or anything that is not in accordance with the highest possible joy in my life. Expressing our feelings is pivotal in our lives, but avoiding them and allowing them to come out in toxic form is not. We are meant to share, explore, and learn. We all hold the capacity to be at peace with our past, our present and the decisions of the future. If it doesn’t feel right then there is something being held on so tightly that the equilibrium of the self is out of control. Check it out! Sit with it! Visit with the pain, the past and the issues so you can move on with others. Release your hang ups. Don’t hold on to them and baby them. If you can’t reach what’s inside then go see a professional. There are times we cannot move forward if we don’t return to the source of our issues. It’s not fair to anyone to have to carry your crap without permission and expect them to continue to put up with your poison. It’s time to start fresh….it’s a new year!