Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery. I woke this morning to the sound of a world waking up. My night engulfed me with terror and nightmares. Now, listening to the birds and life I realize that other life has no hold on me any longer. I cannot understand who I was then. I cannot relate to all the acceptance of abuse. The woman I am now has no clue how I lived in that fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned it. I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me to an early grave. In the middle of the night I woke in a cold sweat. I gathered my thoughts, my tears, and desperately tried to control the running of my heart. I couldn’t breathe. And softly within minutes I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”
I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. The conscious mind will replay these events during sleep to clear out old hurt, make aware of new patterns, and to let go of those things we don’t always remember. Our memories store everything. I move through days without knowing what is inside of my cellular memory…until I have a horrific night and I return to a place of pain, abuse, belittling, and no self-worth.
Aha! Moments are built on these principles. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward. Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts during waking moments. Even through nightmares I am able to understand that I cannot be hurt.
May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Have a blessed day!