Our egos do not allow us to live to our potentials. I once had a friend who had a brain aneurism. He basically had to restart normal living habits, from buttoning his shirt to tying his shoes. A highly intelligent man, but because of living so much in his head, never got the lesson of this spectacular recovery. What happened to him was massive. It was a huge wake up call. Instead of embracing the experience and realizing that he had been touched by the hands of God he grew angrier, bitter, and resentful. He fell into a tunnel of self-pity and has remained there for a few years.
The spiritual journey that had begun the moment his vein burst was diminished to ego. Eventually our friendship dissolved. I couldn’t go to the darkness with him. I couldn’t reach the spiritual being, nor deal with the egotistical part of making sense of his injury in the way he wanted. I cannot pity such an experience that opened up so much in this one soul. He took the extraordinary and created it to become prison of his world.
I always believe that the lessons we come into this life to learn will continue to repeat themselves, each time with much more difficulties, until we embrace and surrender to their teachings. It is then that we can move on to the next one. This man has been one of the few people in my life that illuminated divinity when I was in his presence. He never saw it. He never accepted the journey as being a mystical awakening to his spirit. Once again, egos have a way of degrading our spiritual lessons.
We live in three embodiments: mind, physical body, and spirit. The ego takes hold of the physical body and mind, twisting and turning, until there is nothing left but insecurities, anger, unworthiness, and doubts. Even through major life changes, horrific episodes rattling our beliefs, the ego still continues to dictate what is right and what is wrong.
I know I can’t separate my ego from my spirit at all times. Ego is what drives us to over achieve, to move in our society, and to interact with ourselves. But my only wish as I awake each morning is to have less ego and more spirit. I want to be able to detach from the insecurities, the chit-chat mind set, the what-to-do’s and how-to-do-them agendas. I want my beliefs to take a back seat to what is omnipotence. I want to be able to stand in spirit and be cradled by the hands of God like we all deserve each moment. This is not impossible. It requires detaching and surrendering. It requires traveling in this world without so much of a competitive desire. It requires erasing judgment, self-criticism and any negativity that has been instilled into our DNA by others.
We are always being provided with divinity. It lives in us. We are made of spirit. The other two bodies we house are the substantial necessity to create equilibrium. We need the body and the mind. We need all three. It is when there is an imbalance (of which a lot of us have) that we cannot grasp the lessons and experiences in the meaning of our life path.
My goal today is to live in that simplicity of just being. No agenda, no desires, and no need to do anything but be present and wait… for the hands of God to reach out and light my path. When in darkness I just need to believe that my own light of divinity will guide me through the roughest parts.