A month ago, today, I released something huge in my life. Regardless of how much I would disconnect it from it I couldn’t. For over 20 years it would return in the middle of the night, during spiritual practice, while driving or bathing…it was there torturing my spirit until I voiced the shame out at a women’s retreat.
Here is the thing, darlings, we cannot fully let go until we stop giving attention to our wrongdoings. Your mind goes where your pain remains from past experiences. We feed those things. We water them. We excessively and lovingly place all our attention on the things we did that now have remained a constant source of pain.
The moment you forgive yourself the shame and guilt are released. I thought I had to stand in front of this person. Which I did. But I also recognized that I had created something enormous by giving so much attention and energy to it for decades. What an injustice to my soul!
My soul is lighter. I feel a freedom I didn’t realize I was lacking. I can’t understand why I waited so long. I don’t comprehend why I carried it with deep shame and guilt.
From this experience I’ve learned an invaluable lesson: stop giving power to what’s been done. Cut the cords. Stop watering dead plants. You cannot change anything through regrets and shame. Everything you’ve acquired to this very moment has been for the evolution of your soul.
I am grateful for the beautiful teacher who helped me see this a month ago. She’s extraordinarily graceful and full of love. She allowed me to see myself through the same eyes. And I love her. It’s time you love yourself with that same amount of grace and forgiveness. You are worth it!
Please find a way to make amends. Allow your soul and spirit to be free. I love you.